


Caught in the Crossfire

by Anonymous



Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Kidnapping, Blood, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hallucinations, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kid Fic, M/M, Mercy Killing, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Minor Violence, Multi, Post-Apocalypse, References to Depression, Smut, Suicide, Top Liam, Weapons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 14:48:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 30,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10619157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "Tell the Devil that he can go back from where he came.His firey arrows drew their beat in vein."A post-apocalypse AU where Harry, and his young niece Nora, have been through a lot. Liam is their knight in shining armor.Basically, an angsty Lirry fic with a lot of heartache and a lot of love





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [So_Ginelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_Ginelle/gifts).



> PLEASE READ THE TAGS! This is super angsty and there’s a lot of heavy subject matter in this! I cannot warn you enough! And If I missed a tag, please let me know!
> 
> **Long italicized portions of this story are flashbacks/past scenes! Short italicized portions are song lyrics! Keep that in mind!**
> 
> Many thanks to Skyler (aka Buzzinlou on tumblr) for helping me a lot with this fic! You've suffered greatly and I'm sorry ;)) 
> 
> Title based off of the song Crossfire by Brandon Flowers 
> 
> Please read and enjoy :)

Harry walks out into the hot, sticky evening just past midnight.

                The muggiest is settled low to the ground and the young evening sky has clouds threating off towards the East. Just the sight of it makes Harry’s elbow throb on his left arm.

                It’s going to rain tonight, which is what they need desperately.

                For now at least, home is a deserted house just outside New York. It’s a Victoria style home, with a lovely front porch and bay windows. The stairs creak when walked upon, and the pipes are all dried up (which does surprise anyone really). But there’s enough room for everyone and a small pond out back for water.

                Harry figures that once the pond is dried up, they’ll leave to find a new home base.

                Louis’ standing on guard by the house and curtly nods to him as Harry walks by. He’s wearing his usual dark jeans and a red t-shirt and an old baseball cap that’s worn on the edges. Louis’ had that hat for as long as Harry’s known him, and he expects that as long as Louis’ around, he’ll always see the White Socks logo.

                Harry barely even acknowledges the automatic refile in his hands.

                Instead, Harry finds where Liam is at, which is underneath a tree towards the road. It’s dark out, sans for the flashlight in his hand, but he can make out Liam’s knelt position throw the shadows, his back towards Harry. Liam always takes night duty seriously, and Harry gets it. Liam’s a provider, a protector and will always do anything to keep his people safe.

                It’s something that Harry’s always deeply admired about him.

                “Hey,” Harry says softly, but still Liam jerks a little.

                He turns around and scolds, “Jesus Harry.”

                “Well which one am I?” Harry muses before sitting down in the dirt next to Liam. Liam pauses before moving to sit beside Harry, their backs against the large oak tree, “Am I Harry or am I Jesus?”

                Liam runs his hand over the barrel of his army rifle and ponders on that for a bit. He’s known Liam for over two years now, and he still has no idea where he got that gun or how he always has ammo for it. He’s seen Liam use it a handful of times, mostly for shooting small animals for the clan. He knows Liam’s used it on a few humans before, but he’s never see it happen in person and Liam won’t talk about it so Harry never brings it up.

                The wind is cooler under the tree as it grazes their skin.

                “If you were Jesus,” Liam says dully, “We wouldn’t be experiencing all this. You’d send a plague of unicorns and daisies.”

                Harry cackles and shrugs, “Very true.”

                Liam scoffs and Harry can see the side of his lip curling up.

                “Did Nora finally go to sleep?” Liam asks.

                Harry nods, “She’s sleeping, for now. She wants more bedtime stories and I’m almost fresh out of them.” Liam nods besides Harry.

                “I’ll see what I can find,” Liam tells Harry in his determined voice. He looks out to the road again, “How’s Eleanor feeling? Her head still botherin’ her?”

                “I gave her some hot water with rosemary,” Harry says, “It’s the weather coming in and if it rains tonight it’ll help. She’s trying to sleep it off now.”

                Liam grumbles, “We need to find medicine. I’ll go to the next town over and see if they have an abandoned pharmacy or somethin’.”

                Harry knows that’s highly unlikely, but he doesn’t say anything.

                “Niall’s shoes are shit now,” Liam says bitterly, “So we have to find him better ones. And then-”

                “Do you know what day it is?” Harry asks, his fingers picking at the grass beside him.

                Liam pauses and adverts his eyes back to the road, “It’s not a big deal, H.”

                “It is, actually,” Harry retorts, “You probably haven’t noticed but we’re living in a world crippled by fucking weird plagues, violence, and all sorts of other shit like that,” he braves it and goes for Liam’s hand. He feels Liam’s body tense up beside him before feeling the firm, warm grip of Liam’s hand around his.

                Harry’s relied on that hand so many times over the years. He can’t imagine going through all this without Liam.

                “Turning twenty-three is a big fucking deal, Liam.”

                Liam shies away, but keeps his hand over Harry’s, “What’s the point of mentioning that when we barely have a chance of getting through tomorrow?”

                “No depressing, morbid thoughts on your birthday, Liam,” Harry scolds, “I can tolerate your brooding any other day of the year but not on your birthday, mine or Nora’s. Or any of the other birthdays in our clan.”

                  Liam smiles, and Harry accepts it even though the smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

                “Okay,” Liam caves easily.

                Harry grins happily and reaches his hand out to Liam, “Happy birthday.”

                “Harry,” he breathes out as Liam eyes the gift.

                “Sorry for the shit wrapping,” Harry says quietly. He was only able to find an old newspaper in some rumble the other day. He tacks on, “And, um, I’m gonna need the ribbon back ‘cuz it’s Nora’s.”

                Liam looks to Harry with a dumbfounded expression, “I-I can’t, H.”

                “You can and you will,” Harry tells him adamantly, “You’re supposed to get gifts on your birthday, Liam.”

                The man beside him grumbles, “I knew I shouldn’t have told ya my birthday.”

                Harry sticks his tongue out at his, “Just take it, Li.”

                With a labored sigh, Liam takes the present. Harry’s heart is about to burst in his chest as he watches Liam unwrap the ribbon slowly and tear apart the newspaper.

                Liam gasps and looks up to Harry, his eyes wide.

                “Harry, I can’t. That was your-” Liam swallows and adamantly shakes his head, “I can’t take this.”

                “You have to, Li,” Harry mumbles, his throat impossibly tight, “It’s the most valuable thing I own. It’s the only thing I can repay you with that’s actually worth something.”

                Liam’s lips draw downwards, “But what about Nora? She’ll want this when she’s older.”

                Harry looks at the ground.

                Five minute ago, Liam was hell-bent that he wouldn’t make it to twenty-four.

                Now he thinks Nora will actually grow up into adulthood.

                Harry’s mind moves too fast with competing thoughts. Of course he wants Nora to grow up-to find some place on this God forsaken Earth that’s not riddled in wars, diseases and violence. But if no such place is left on this miserable planet, Harry doesn’t want her to suffer more then she already has.

                Moving around constantly, stealing things from dead people and abandoned homes and waking up everyday wondering if they’ll be shot at is Nora’s norm. It’s all she knows, and that makes Harry sleepless at nights and sick sometimes.

                “Just take it, Li,” Harry says tightly, “One day, you’ll know what to do with it. I can’t-” Harry makes himself look up at Liam. He’s frowning at him, the glow from the moon’s beam highlighting the deep wrinkles around Liam’s eyebrows.

                 “I’d never get rid of it,” Harry admits quietly and he feels so ashamed to say it but it’s true, “I know it would go for a lot of money-someone would take it and we could get money for it. Or we could trade if off for some supplies-”

                “Harry.”

                Liam slips his hand around Harry’s. His palm is a bit sweaty, but he has a firm, sure grip that Harry’s become dependent on over the years. Just having Liam’s hand around him makes him feel better.

                “You need to take it, Li,” Harry says surely, “Just take it please.”

                Harry sees Liam pick up the necklaces with one finger under the white gold chain. It’s a stunner, Harry always thought it was. The pendent is made entirely out of real emerald, cut in an emerald shape, and there’s a small cluster of real diamonds at the top of the pendent. The gems are dazzling in the dwindling moonlight and it makes Harry smile wistfully.

                It was a gift from Harry’s dad to his mother for their tenth anniversary.

                “It’s beautiful H,” Liam comments in awe, “I-I know it means so much to you.”

                The clouds are rolling in slowly and lightning strikes in the distance.

                “It doesn’t mean much to me anymore,” Harry says painfully indifferent.

                “That’s not true,” Liam says, “I know this is important to you.”

                _“Please Haz,” she begged, “Don’t let her see.”_

                Harry forces his eyes off of the pendant.

                “Just take it Liam,” Harry says firmly. He makes sure his gaze is on Liam, “please, just take it.”

                Liam stares at him for a moment before darting his eyes downward and nodding.

                “Okay,” Liam agrees. He packets the necklace into his jeans and promises Harry, “I’ll put it somewhere safer, H.”

                Harry nods, emotion welling up inside of him, “Thank you.”

                He feels a heaviest lifting off of his chest just as the thunder rumbles in the sky.

                “We shouldn’t be under this tree when the storm comes,” Harry remarks, mainly as a means to break the tension slightly. It works because Liam chuckles and agrees.

                They move out into the wide open field in front of the house. Harry lays down the ground and looks up at Liam with daring eyes and a playful grin. Liam rolls his eyes and moves the gun off his shoulder the ground, his body follows suit a second later. The ground is dry and dusty beneath their backs and it smells dirt but there’s a patch in the sky, right above them, that’s somehow still free of clouds. The stars are so bright and clear and Liam is right beside him, looking at the same constellations that Harry once knew but now can’t recall them.

                It’s nice, and just for a teeny tiny moment for moment, everything is at peace.

                “When I was younger,” Liam speaks up, his voice barely coming over the thunder. Harry turns his head to Liam. The other man has his gaze trained on the tiny clearing in the sky, “For my birthday, m-my mom would always through me a party at the community center’s pool. All my friends would come and we’d swim for hours. She always got me those cakes, ya know-from those big warehouse stores? She thought I liked, but it was so sweet and artificially flavored. I hated it, but I never told her because I knew my mom and dad would work extra shifts before mine and my sisters’ birthdays and Christmas, just so they could give us gifts and a cake. So I made myself eat two slices every birthday, just to see my mom smile.”

                Harry’s caught off guard by this, but the story still makes his smile in forlorn.

                They rarely take about their pasts, mainly because there’s no point to it. There’s no reason in remembering what was anymore. And even in these rarest moments, Harry’s usually the one to bring it up. But Liam must be feeling nostalgic tonight. He turns to Harry, his face completely emotionless.

                “What about you? What’d you do for your birthday?”

                Harry makes himself dig up that part of his past, “My, uh, parents always went all out. Ya know, I was a spoiled rich kid but my parents only got excessive on us for birthdays and holidays. Lots of food and presents, clowns and magicians, bounce houses. My whole family would come and usually all the kids in the neighborhood too,” he scoffs and tears well up in his eyes as he recalls, “One time, my dad brought in a small petting zoo for my sixth birthday. There were sheep and donkeys and pigs. My mom got so mad at my dad because some of the animals were trying to eat my mom’s dress and one of the pigs shitted on our rug. My mom didn’t talk to my dad for three whole days but I,” Harry frowns and looks down at the buttons of Liam’s shirt, his voice dropping to a whisper, “I loved every second of it.”

                Liam’s fingers graze Harry’s cheek, his finger drags a tear across Harry’s cheek towards his ear. He smiles weakly at him as Liam tucks a long curl behind Harry’s ear. Suddenly Liam’s arm is around Harry and Harry is curling into Liam’s chest just as the first few raindrops are hitting their bodies. Liam’s shirt is wet, but it’s not from the rain.

                “I’m sorry,” Liam coos, his own voice sounding thicker then normal, “Fuck, I’m sorry H.”

                _Dark clouds roll their way over town._

_And heartache and pain came a pouring down._

~~~ 

                _Harry quietly entered the room, his hand clutching onto a collection of pink balloons._

_His parents where already there and each one was standing one side of the hospital bed. Harry’s mom leaned in to kiss her daughter._

_“You did so well in there, Gem,” she praised her older child. When she drew back, the mother’s eyes were shining with tears._

_“She looks just like you, Anne,” Harry’s dad said happily, “She’s so cute.”_

_Gemma glanced up from the tiny bundle in her arms and instantly locked with Harry. She laughed at him, her eyes red and happy with emotion._

_“C’mon Haz, meet your niece.”_

_Harry grinned shyly as he went to his sister. His dad patted him on the back as he stepped as side for his son. Gemma propped up the baby girl in her arms to proudly show Harry the new addition to their family. The baby yawned and tiny, exhausted cry came out of her. She had a pink beanie on her head and wiggled around in her swaddled, matching pink blanket._

_Harry was instantly in love with her._

_“She’s so precious,” He commented in awe. He swallowed the emotion back in his throat and looked up to his older sister, “What’s her name?”_

_Gemma smiled, and brought her daughter back against her chest. She fondly smiled down at the baby as she revealed her name._

_“Nora,” she said proudly, “Nora Anne.”_

~~~ 

                “Morning Harry.”

                Harry picks his head up from the stove and smiles at Eleanor.

                “Morning. How’s your head.”

                Eleanor shrugs, “Fine, fine,” she looks at the stove, “Is that all the water we got from last night’s storm?”            

                Harry nods as he watches the water boil, “Yep, I got two more buckets I need to boil.”

                “Looks like we’ll be good for water for a bit,” Eleanor comments, “Hey, are you still up for crossbow lessons today?”

                “I dunno, Els. I don’t really need weapons training do I? I always have a knife on me but I doubt I’ll use it. I’m the least violent person ever,” Harry chuckles, “I’m positively helpless.”

                “Well I’m not positive about that, Harry,” Eleanor jokes and Harry sticks his tongue out at her.

                She reminds him so much of Gemma. 

                Harry bites his lip, and focuses back on the water.

                “How’s Nora?” Eleanor asks instead and Harry’s grateful.

                “She’s with Niall on the porch. He’s helping her learn her numbers,” he beams with pride. He can’t help it.

                Eleanor chuckles, “She’s a curious little thing.”

                “Yeah,” Harry breathes out dreamily. He changes the subject as his mind drifts, “There’s leftover oatmeal still.”

                When Harry looks up from the boiling water, Eleanor’s pointedly staring at him.

                “Did you have some oatmeal, Harry?” she asks sternly.

                Harry gulps and thinks about the one bite he had at breakfast, “Yes.”

                “Did everyone else have some?” Eleanor watches him closely as he nods, “Good, you can share this with me.”

                “El-” Harry protests.

                But Eleanor says, “I’ll tell Liam you’re not eating enough again, Harry.”

                Harry bites his lip and reluctantly nods.

                Eleanor brings him to the table and sits him down. The dining set is old and the white paint is peeling off in long strands. She sets the bowl in the middle of the table and hands Harry a spoon. He takes it and swirls a clump of oatmeal around in the bowl.

                “Eat,” Eleanor instructs him. Harry glares at her.

                “I’m not a child.”

                “Not eating your fair share of the food is being childish,” she states, “we plan our meals for the whole clan to be able to have a fair portion, and that includes you.”

                Harry swallows thickly, his eyes looking down at the table, “But Nora-” 

                “Nora needs you,” Eleanor reminds him, “We will always make sure she has enough to eat and drink. But she needs you more. And you have to eat to make sure you’re here for her.”

                Eleanor’s right, of course she is.               

                But Harry doesn’t like it one bit.

                “You’re the worst,” he comments before putting a spoonful of oatmeal in his mouth.

                Eleanor smirks and shakes her head, “I love you too, asshole.”

                By the time he’s finished eating, Harry’s itching to see Nora. He finds her, outside in front yard chasing Niall around with a daisy in her hand while she giggles madly. She has dimples in her cheeks just like her uncle and Harry’s heart melts at the sight of it. Harry trots down the front porch and sneaks up behind Nora and picks her up without warning. The sound of her laughter fills him with such pure joy, it makes Harry’s heart soar in his chest.

                “Harry no!” Nora protests in her tiny, high pitched voice.

                Harry spins Nora around, her slender legs with purple shoes on her feet pointing out. She squeals in delight and that- _that’s_ what keeps Harry going these days.

~~~

                _It all started out with a mysterious disease somewhere in Asia._

_Harry had seen several reports about it on the news. At first it was just small little blurbs of information here and there and it was always so breezed over that no one seemed really all that concerned about it._

_But from what Harry could gather, this disease started with a high fever and shakes with a pale red, scaly rash on the torso and limbs, followed by the person vomiting black substance. It killed within days, after the victim suffered in agony. No one new exactly how one got the disease. Doctors from all over the world had never seen such an illness and, at the time, had no idea how to cure it._

_“Should we be worried?” Harry asked hesitantly. This was after his local news reported that nearly a hundred people in Asia had already died from the mysterious disease. He was safe in his home on the couch with his sister beside him and his four month old niece in her arms._

_Harry’s father brushed off his concern, “It’s not happening here,” he told him, “and besides, doctors are working on a cure for it as we speak. This will blow over in no time.”_

_His mother walked in a second later with lemonade for everyone. Anne looked up at her son and smiled as she assured him, “Everything will be fine, Harry.”_

_For his mother’s sake, Harry nodded and feebly smiled._

_But a sickening feeling brewed inside his gut._

~~~

                On most days, Liam takes Louis and Stan or Oli to neighboring towns to see what they can find. They always leave the rest of the clan (Harry, Nora, Eleanor, and Niall) was well stocked with food, water and other supplies necessary like matches and batteries for flashlights. Sometimes, Liam and the rest would return home by the end of the night with small supplies. Other times, the clan must survive without Liam, Louis and Stan for a day or so.

                Harry hasn’t seen Liam in nearly three days.

                “Stop worrying,” Eleanor tells him casually. She’s sharpening one of her bows with a small knife, even though it doesn’t need to be sharpened at all; Harry suspects she’s as bored on night watch as he is.

                Niall chimes in, “They probably decided to go to a farther town. Maybe they couldn’t find what we needed around here.”

                “But what if they came across bad clans?” Harry asks worriedly, “W-What if they’ve been taken captive and-”

                “Stop that,” Eleanor tells him, though there’s a tiny bit more worry in her eyes then there was before. Harry frowns at her.

                “How can you be so relaxed? What if something happened to Louis?”

                The hand in which Eleanor’s holding her knife stops cutting against the arrowhead. She eyes Harry with an expression that can only be described as terrifying.

                Harry knows he shouldn’t have said that he regrets the words as soon as they left his month but how can Eleanor not be worried for Louis’ sake? They’re…together? Kinda? Harry’s not sure. All he knows is he’s caught Louis and Eleanor kissing out back by the bushes. When the either one of them is sick or off in any way, the other one is right by their side, holding their hand and whispering.

                In another world, Harry would even say the two were in love. And, in this other world, Harry could possibly say that their relationship mimics his relationship with Liam a lot.

                But not in this world, and not during these times.

                “Don’t fucking say that, Styles,” she commands, “Just don’t.”

                Harry gulps and looks out towards the road. His has a heavy machete in his hands, though it feels foreign to him. He’s never been one to fight or to defend himself before. But Nora’s sleeping upstairs, with her tiny stuffed animal cat in her arms. She’s safe, for now, and Harry is determined to do everything within his capability to keep it that way.

                “Food’s gonna be gone by tomorrow,” Niall comments off handedly. Niall isn’t like Liam or Louis, who are naturally good at leading. Nor is he like Stan or Oli, who wait on bated breath for their commanders’ instructions. No, Niall is content to remain with the group and do his part to keep everyone safe and fed. But if need be, Niall is willing to stand up and take charge for the clan. Harry hopes he’s that kind of clan member too.

                Eleanor keeps her eye on her arrow, and studies the sharpness of it and mumbling, “I noticed that today.”         

                “I can go into one of the towns tomorrow afternoon. Or hunt in the woods,” Niall says, “I might be able to find something.”

                “I have a pair of earrings,” Eleanor says with a shrug, “Nothing big or anything. But, we could get a few days of food with them.”

                “I have quite a bit of money stashed away,” Harry adds and Niall scoffs.

                “No one takes cash these days Harry. Sometimes they’ll give money if, like, you trade in a really big item. Now, though, you trade in good useless shit to give survival shit.”

                Harry bites his lip and darts his eyes to the ground. Maybe he shouldn’t have given Liam his mother’s necklace. He doesn’t have much else. He has a couple of scarves but with fall approaching, he and Nora will need them.

                “We need,” Niall pauses, “We need a plan, in case…”

                Eleanor’s head shoots up, “They’re coming back,” she flatly insists, “Everything will be fine.”

                “ _Everything will be fine, Harry.”_

_“You’ll be fine, Haz. I promise.”_

_“Everything will be fine.”_

                Harry scoffs at the irony of it all.

                “What?” Eleanor asks accusingly.

                “Nothing,” Harry tells her and doesn’t even bother to pretend that he’s okay.

                He draws his knees to his chest and anxiously watches the road, hoping to see Liam’s figure soon.

                Harry hopes that when he’s told everything will be fine, it actually will be okay for once.

~*~

                Harry wakes up some time later with someone lifting him up from the bench. He jostles a little in the stranger’s arms but-

                “Harry? It’s just me, H.”

                Harry unscrews his eyes and lets them adjust to the low light.

                Liam’s smiling down at him.

                “Liam?” Harry breathes out sleepily.

                “Hey H,” Liam says softly. Harry grins tiredly.

                Liam’s back.

                “You’re back,” Harry tells him as if Liam didn’t know. Liam scoffs as he walks back into the house, his arms holding Harry like a new bride.

                “I am,” Liam says. He softly looks down at him and the tenderness in his eyes makes Harry’s heart jump. Liam moves up the old creaky stairs as he tells Harry fondly, “You’re terrible at night watch.”

                Harry groans and curls himself against Liam’s chest. He smells like pine needles and feels warm. He smirks into Liam’s shirt, “I hate night watch.”

                “You’re never doing night watch ever again,” Liam tells him on a quiet laugh. Suddenly, they’re in Harry’s and Nora’s room. Harry looks up as Liam as he hesitates for a short second before bending over and gently placing Harry on the old, sunken mattress. Liam’s nose is barely grazes Harry’s and their eyes are lidded.

                When Liam moves away, Harry grabs his plaid shirt weakly.

                “Stay,” he insists quietly.

                Liam scoffs quietly down at him before lowering himself into the mattress. Harry’s drifting off to sleep just as Liam pulls the thin cover up to their shoulders and Liam tucks his head on Harry’s should as he wraps his arms around him.

~~~

                _No one ever found a cure for the mysterious illness._

_After six months, the death toll rose to rose to nearly two million people worldwide. Cases began to be reported in Europe and even some in Central America._

_With no answers to what was happening, people rioted all over the world, demanding governments to figure out what was happening. Doctors all over the world were exhausted I their research but none could understand how the disease operated, let alone how to cure it. People were scared and frustrated and took it out on others._

_Still, Harry was reassured by his family that everything was fine. He believed them, or at least he wanted to believe them, and focused more on finishing high school then what was going on in the world around him._

_Harry will always regret this._

~~~ 

                “I got you something.”

                Harry’s hands still in Nora’s light brown hair. She’s sitting in the space between Harry’s spread legs, patiently waiting for Harry to finish braiding her hair. Harry looks up at Liam with questioning eyes.

                “What?” he asks before he focuses back on his niece’s hair.

                Liam sits down on the porch beside Harry. He reaches out and touches Nora’s cheek softly. The child giggles.

                “ _Li-_ yam!” she stresses, “No.”

                Harry agrees fondly, “Yeah, Liam. Stop distracting me.”

                It’s a few days into September, by Harry’s count, but the days are still unusually warm and muggy. Nora’s hair is a right mess when met with humidity and Nora’s only able to get a few baths a week.

                Right has Harry finishes the braid with a rubber band and sends Nora off back to the front field with Niall, Liam hands him something. It’s a book, with a rather faded and dusty               cover, but still Harry is intrigued.

                “It’s a book on herbalism,” Liam tells him, “You’re into that sort of stuff, natural medicine and all. It bores me, but I saw it in town and I figured you should have it.”

                Harry listens to Liam as he opens the book gingerly. The pages are thin and the text is miniature, but it’s full of information and pictures of plants and berries. There’s information on plants like aloe and lavender, and how can help heal wounds and burns. Harry’s instantly engrossed and he thinks back on the past. His mother used to have an herb garden in their sunroom back him. She grew fragrant basil, sweet thyme and woodsy rosemary. He’s found some herbs here and there in the woods, but it pales in comparison to his mother’s garden.

                Harry makes himself stop thinking about it and turns to Liam.

                “How much did this cost you?” Harry asks and a sinking thought comes to his mind, “D-Did you use my-”

                “No Harry,” Liam assures him with an easy smirk, “Your mother’s necklace is still in my room, safe and sound.”  

                Harry nibbles his lip. Commodities like books don’t come cheap these days. Anything that was created to entertain is nearly as expensive as things meant to keep you alive.

                Liam knows what Harry’s thinking, always, and insists, “Harry, it was nothing really, honestly. This guy was-well.”

                Liam stops suddenly, and that makes Harry look at him, “What?” he frowns. Liam coughs and leans in closer to Harry. Harry hates that his eyes dart down to Liam’s lips for a second before he leans as well.

                “This guy in town says,” Liam starts to explain, “that the farther North you go, there’s less chance of people getting the disease.”

                Harry gulps at the mention of the illness. He feels sick to his core just thinking about it.

                _“Please Haz,” she begged, “Don’t let her see.”_

                “How so?” Harry asks tightly.

                Liam shrugs, “Apparently it’s the colder air or something. In other places of the world, like Norway and up in Canada, there haven’t been any cases reported of people.”

                Harry’s eyes bug out, “I doubt that.”

                “It’s worth a shot, I think,” Liam reasons.

                “But, you can’t find as many crops up there,” Harry says, “And there wouldn’t be as many cities to trade. And if there are still cities up North, they’re probably really low on stock.”

                Liam sits back and looks out to the road; Harry watches his face. Liam’s thinking, his face hardening and his eyes squinting slightly as he does so. Harry has the urge to reach out and hold Liam’s hand. He didn’t mean to crush his hopes but that nonsense is just not true. It can’t be true, _it just can’t be._

                “You’re right,” Liam concludes and he shakes his head to himself, “It was a silly idea yeah?” He turns to Harry for confirmation, his eyes bright and playful.

                “Not silly,” Harry says with a small smile, “Maybe just impossible, but certainly not silly, Liam.”

                Liam smirks and playfully shoves Harry, promptly ending the conversation. Harry turns to the front of his new book and starts reading.

                The next time Harry picks his head up from his book, he spots Liam right away in the front yard. He’s sitting in the dried, yellow grass and beside him is Nora. He watches his niece pick up tiny hand folds of grass and dumps it on Liam. Harry chuckles as Liam playfully screams in horror and scolds Nora, who laughs like any delighted little girls should. Liam pulls the girl in his arms and tickles her mercilessly and Nora’s squeals echoes all around.

                _“Protect her Haz,” she told him, “keep her safe.”_

                Harry grins fondly and sets his book to the side. He runs down from the porch and jogs to his niece and Liam. Harry squats down and tickles Liam’s neck.

                “Stop that!” Liam demands in a filter of laughter.

                But Nora follows her uncle, her tiny fingers reaching up next to her uncle’s.

                Liam begs breathlessly, “N-No, stop that! I can’t-ahh!”

                Harry’s arm is grabbed by Liam’s hand and he’s pulled down to the grass beside him, with Nora laid out on Liam’s torso. Nora’s laughing hysterically in Liam’s chest, where his hand is petting her hair. But his eyes, his eyes are on Harry, soft and sweet-the like the smile laced on his lips. Harry’s frozen as Liam’s hand reaches up and his fingers card through Harry’s long curly hair.

                “I love your hair,” Liam confesses, his fingers moving to thumb Harry cheekbone. When Liam’s hand drops and lands on Harry’s hand on the ground between their bodies, Harry hesitates before laying beside him, his head perfectly tucked on Liam’s shoulder. Nora drifts to sleep on Liam’s chest and Liam pecks Harry’s scalp. Maybe it means nothing, or maybe it means just the opposite. But Harry won’t let himself ponder on that for too long.

                _Lay your body down, lay your body down, lay your body down_

_Next to mine._

~~~

                _“H-Harry?” Gemma asked unsurely from the hallway, “W-What’s going on?”_

_Harry stopped rummaging through his drawers and looked down at his clothes. Outside, he could hear shouting and screaming. He picked his head up and looked outside quickly. Thick, billowing smoke clouds were drawing closer towards them and a spike of fear coursed through Harry._

_Rioters were coming._

_“We need to leave,” Harry told his sister flatly. He turned to her, and Gemma had a panicked look on her face and a fussy Nora in her arms. He told her, “Pack as quick as you can-nothing too fancy. Pack light, but purposefully. Anything we don’t need don’t take.”_

_Harry began moving again, his hands grabbing a few t-shirts and shoved them into his duffle bag on his mattress. Once packed, Harry swiftly moved to his closet and grabbed a couple of hoodies and a few pairs of jeans._

_“What?” Gemma asked, just as Nora began to cry in her arms, “N-No, we can’t! We’re safe here. Mom and dad said-”_

_“We’re not safe here!” Harry yelled, frustrated, “They lied to us-they were lying this whole time! They told us not to worry when we should’ve been scared outta our minds, Gems!”_

_The mysterious illness had been going on for nearly a year and countless people had died. The illness spread to America, killing a few hundred Americans in a matter of weeks. People grew angry at their government and demanded answers from them and doctors. Harry read online and saw videos of angry protesters that people felt ignored. Some believed that this was a conspiracy, that governments were purposefully making their people sick by contaminating their crops and water. People shut down businesses and even local governments with violence. Harry watched a video of protesters setting the houses of various world leaders on fire, and shooting whoever tried to escape._

_Harry would be damned if he let that fate happen to his family._

_“They’re coming for us, Gems,” Harry told her firmly. Gemma frowned, almost angrily._

_“Us? Why, we didn’t do anything wrong!”_

_Harry scoffed and quickly moved to one of his dressers, “We’re currently in a five-thousand square foot mansion, Gems. We stayed tucked away, silently, as we watched millions of people die slowly!” Gemma flinched, “We stayed silent! W-We assumed everything was fine when people were in agony. We didn’t donate a fucking penny to help find a cure for this thing! We just…sat here and insisted everything was fine.”_

_Gemma was silent. Harry pulled out a couple pairs of jeans and tossed them in his bag. He told her, honestly._

_“We’re fucking loaded, Gems. We could’ve helped them, but we-” Harry swallowed thickly, “They’re coming for our money. So we need to leave, Gem. Please-just, go pack, please. I’ll help you in a second.”_

_“But,” Gemma stopped, a sob leaving her throat, “What about m-mom and dad?”_

_Harry’s knees buckled, his stomach lurched sickeningly._

_His parents were across the country in Napa on some dream vacation in the wine country. Harry heard it’s much worse out there, that rioters were extremely violent and cruel. They hadn’t heard from their parents in two days and that…that wasn’t like Harry’s parents. Harry told his sister not to worry about not hearing from their parents but…._

_Harry couldn’t ponder on it for long because he’d start crying and now was not the time for tears. Harry hoped, hoped that he and Gemma could wait it out in their home until they came back._

_But they can’t wait any longer._

_Harry quickly insisted, “We need to leave now, Gems,” his voice cracked and he flickered his watery eyes up at her, “P-Please go pack.”_

_Gemma stared at him, tears thick in the brim of her eyes. Thankfully, after a second, Gemma turned and headed towards her room._

_Harry breathed heavily and made himself finish the items on his checklist._

_He packed all the clothes he felt like were necessary-a few shirts, jeans and hoodies, a sweater, a couple of tank tops, a few scarves, and two pairs of tennis shoes. He then pulled out his backpack and began packing things he began buying weeks ago in case something like this happened._

_He packed a bunch of large water bottles, some formula for Nora, protein snacks, and some packets of instant oatmeal. He shoved canned foods of beans and soups of all varieties, along with jars of baby foods and diapers for Nora and powdered milk. He packed batteries, flashlights, matches, along with a fully loaded first aid kit, hand sanitizer, small packets of wipes and toilet paper._

_Harry next ran to his parent’s room. He paused once there. His parent’s bed was perfectly made and everything else in the room looked unnervingly still and untouched. He knew, that just in a few hours, this room and the rest of his beloved house was going to be torn to shreds by complete strangers._

_Harry swallowed thickly and headed straight to his dad’s closet. Behind his hanging suits, there was a safe. A long time ago, Harry’s father told him the code for ‘just in case.’ Harry never thought he’d need to open it. But now, Harry found himself numbly punching in the numbers._

_There were thousands of dollars of cash in bundles, next to a revolver, a few clips for the gun and a hunter’s knife._

_Harry shoved it all in his backpack._

_Harry helped Gemma pack next, the two of the quickly shoving in clothes for her and Nora along with some of Nora’s toys in Gemma’s duffle bag. Harry packed lighter weight foods and supplies in her backpack, including blankets and towels and a small pillow and aspirin, some rope and an umbrella and a knife. Harry dressed Nora in a t-shirt and jersey knit leggings. She seemed confused and watched her mother run about the house to grab the last few things they needed._

_With their hands fully and backpacks heavy on their shoulders, the Styles kids took one last look at the house they grew up in. Harry looked at the stairs and thought about the two of them running down those stairs every Christmas morning. Harry looked over to the family room to his father’s chair, and thought about all the important life lessons his dad taught him there. He briefly looked at the dinning room table where his mother would place a whole Thanksgiving feast there and how there would be barely any space for people at the table._

_A tear slipped out of Harry’s eye when he saw Nora’s bouncy chair._

_Outside an explosion went off, confirming Harry what he already knew._

_“Let’s go,” He said thickly as he wiped his eye. He looked down to his sister’s neck, “And you need to hide that. They’ll rip that right off of ya out there.”_

_Gemma looked down to her chest and saw her mother’s emerald necklace hanging on display. Harry was there when his mother gave it to Gemma for her birthday, and how she hoped one day she could give it to Nora._

_Gemma tucked the necklace under her shirt before they headed out._

_The rioters were on their street a few houses down. Harry cringed as he heard his neighbors screaming, and was sickened by what was happening to them. But he didn’t dare look, he walked beside his sister with a protective arm around her. She held Nora close to her chest and they looked down to the ground as they walked briskly. People were shouting all around them, the smell of smoke and fire thick in the air and of course the deafening screams that echoed loudly in Harry’s ear._

_But they kept their heads down, and didn’t dear look up._

_By the time they got to the end of their street, Harry had no doubt that the rioters were in their house, stealing his family’s belongings and destroying his family home._

_Harry and his sister walked on, not looking back once._

~~~

                Harry’s 80% sure that Stan’s not sorry he ran into Harry, almost making him drop his plate of food.

                “Sorry,” Stan grunts unconvincingly as he walks by. Harry grips onto his plate and turns to him.

                He calls out, “You okay?” Stan turns back to him, scoffs and shakes his head.      

                “Go play mama, Harry,” he taunts, “your baby’s hungry.”

                Harry takes a step towards him.

                Someone pulls him back.

                “Easy man,” Louis tells him calmly. He turns to Stan and tells him, “Don’t be an ass Stan. Keep talking shit about Nora and I’ll permanently shut that mouth of yours.”

                Stan backs down, and genuinely looks scared as he sits next his best friend Oli. Niall reaches over and smacks him against the side of Stan’s head.

                “Come on H,” Louis prompts and tugs on Harry’s sleeve.

                They find Nora next to the wooden swinging bench off to the side of the property. Louis and Harry walk over to her and sit on the swing. It creaks a little as the sit down and sways, but Harry plants his feet in the ground, making the swing still again.

                “Norie? Ya hungry?” Harry asks as he cuts the meat up into tinier portions.

                Nora nods and instantly walks over to her uncle, eyes wide on the food.

                Harry picks up his fork with a little bit of meat on it. He sniffs it and grimaces a little.

                “What is this?” he asks. Liam and Louis went hunting earlier in the day, and never mentioned what exactly they brought back with them.

                Louis makes a face, “Just eat it.”

                Harry decides he doesn’t want to know after all and holds the fork out to Nora.

                He makes sure she the first few bites of meat and polenta first before Harry takes a bite. The meat is gamier and unfamiliar to him and he forces it down. Nora doesn’t seem to mind it and grabs a handful of polenta and shoves it in her mouth.

                “She’s so fucking cute,” Louis comments. Harry glances over as Harry wipes food off of Nora’s cheek. Louis has almost an awestricken look on his face as he looks at Nora, “She reminds me so much of my little sisters when they were that young.”

                Harry’s hands stop.

                Louis doesn’t mention his family, ever. Liam’s told him a while back that Louis has like six younger siblings, five girls and a boy. But that was all Liam told him and Louis’ never talked about his past, except for small comments here and there. Harry knows that Louis grew up in Chicago, and left his family there for an internship in New York City. Other then that, Harry knows nothing more about Louis.

                “Yeah?” he asks carefully. He sees Louis nod fondly beside him.

                “God, I remember when Lottie,” Louis barks out a laugh and shakes his head, “Lottie was only five, I think? Close to Nora’s age for sure. Anyway, she used to stick her face into bowls of spaghetti and tried to shove food up her nose instead of her mouth,” Louis smiles softly, “My mom hated it but I-I thought it was so fucking funny.”

                Harry grins and offers Nora some more food.

                “Are you going to eat anymore?” Louis asks, suddenly his voice has grown stern.

                Harry shakes his head, “Not hungry really.”

                “Yes you are,” Louis insists and then sighs, “H, you have to eat your share. I know why you’re doing this, but Nora needs you first and foremost.”

                Harry grows quiet.

                Louis tells him, “Look, I’m not gonna finish my plate. I ate some food while I was helping Niall cook it. I’ll give Nora the rest of my food and you finish your plate okay?”

                Harry looks unsure. It’s totally in Louis’ wheelhouse that he would lie to Harry, more like fib. He wants to say no but Louis doesn’t wait for an answer.

                “Come ‘ere, Nors,” Louis urges kindly. Nora waddles over to Louis and the man picks her up and puts her on his knee.

                “Lou-ehh,” Nora babbles, “Lou Lou.”

                Louis beams at her baby talk, “Yeah Nors,” before handing her some polenta. Nora claps her hands excitedly as she chomps on the food.

                Harry smiles wistfully.

                “I know,” Harry swallows thickly and looks away, “I know these days…having a little kid around is-”         

                “Don’t, H.”

                Harry insists, “But it’s true,” he whispers, ashamed. Harry looks down at his food and is actually no longer hungry anymore, “I-If you and Liam didn’t take us in when you did, I-I don’t know how I-we would’ve survived.”

                Louis is quiet for a few seconds before he says, “You would’ve-survived, I mean.”

                “How can you be so sure?” Harry asks. He tries not to think about the early days after him and sister left home and wondered on the streets and in the woods for weeks with their supplies dwindling. They slept on rocks and nibbled on protein bars as the world crumbled around them. Harry tried to keep their family dynamic the same but it was just so hard.

                Louis looks up at him and scoffs at him, as if Harry were the stupidest person in the world.

                “Because you’re a survivor, H,” Louis says simply, “We all are.”

                _“You’re strong, Haz. You got this.”_

                “I’d kill to go back to when my sisters were this little,” Louis comments softly. Harry watches Louis as he looks down to Nora, who is greedily drinking water out of his canteen. Louis’ hand pets Nora’s hair softly and Harry can see the trace of sadness in his eyes.

                Harry carefully prods, “Yeah?”

                Louis nods, “I miss them so much. I should’ve-God. I shouldn’t left home. They needed me I left them for a crappy internship. I should’ve gone back before the closed the airports and the train stations and the buses stop.”

                “Lou, you had no idea none of this was gonna happen,” Harry tries to convince him, “None of us did. If I did, Hell-I would’ve done a lot of things differently,” he swallows tightly, “We all would.”

                Louis strokes Nora’s hair, her head now on Louis’ chest. Her tiny hands grip onto the collar of Louis’ shirt. He just lets her do it, even though Harry would tell her not to.

                “I think about them all the time,” Louis confesses weakly. There’s heaviness in Louis’ voice that Harry’s never heard before. Normally he’s so lively and energetic, always one for a laugh. But there’s not an ounce of humor in his voice.

                Harry admits, “M-Me too.”

                “My ma was sick at the time,” Louis tells Harry and Harry’s stomach slips in his gut, “Stage Four Leukemia. I was only in New York for a couple of months when she found out,” Louis lets out a shaky breath, “I knew I should’ve gone back but my mom,” he scoffs weakly, “Even in her hospital bed, hooked up to all those machines-she insisted I stay in New York. That I couldn’t put my career on hold because of her. She told me everything would be fine and then all this shit happened and now-”

                Louis heaves a little, “Now, I’m almost certain she’s dead. And I have no fucking clue if my sisters are even alive.”

                _“Everything will be fine Harry.”_

                Harry struggles for the words, “M-Maybe they’re still alive.”

                “Maybe,” Louis says, unconvinced.

                Harry doesn’t blame him.

                “I think,” Louis says quietly. He looks up to Harry and smiles a little, “Sometimes I think we’re family-all of us.”

                “Yes,” Harry agrees instantly, “Nora’s just as much of yours as she is mine.”

                Louis scoffs, “Sure Harry.”

                “She is though,” Harry insists, “She’s known you for about half her life. Longer then-” Harry purses his lips.         

                Louis watches him and seems to know he’s struggling so he agrees, “You’re right, H. You’re both family. We wouldn’t make it without you.” Harry shakes his head.

                “Yeah right. I can’t hunt, I’m shit at killing anything, and I can barely cook.”

                “But you keep us all together, like the glue,” Louis says easily, “Especially Liam.”

                Harry’s heart jumps at the mention of Liam’s name, “Liam doesn’t need me.” Louis laughs at him.

                “He needs you like he needs the fucking air he breathes,” Louis tells him, and Harry just can’t wrap his head around it, “You should see him when we go out to town. He hates leaving you and Nora alone for too long. He gets all angsty and nervous to get back to you.”

                Harry can’t help the shy blush that creeps up his cheeks.

                “Eleanor gets all moody when you’re away,” Harry tells him as if it were a secret.

                Louis’ crocked smile, full of proud and fond, tells Harry that maybe Louis already knew this.

                “If everything where different, I’d marry that girl in a heartbeat.”

                Harry grins excitedly, “Why do things have to be different?”

                “I dunno,” Louis shrugs. Harry can imagine what he’s thinking-that maybe Louis would like his sisters to be there. Instead, Louis tells him, “El deserves better.”

                Harry doesn’t push it anymore, even though he has a million questions. He feels that Louis is done talking for today.

                Later on when it’s nearing twilight, Harry and Louis head out towards the road with full plates of food. Eleanor and Liam are on night watch tonight, with Eleanor’s crossbow out and Liam’s rifle strapped to his shoulder. Liam turns to them, but his eyes land on Harry and he grins brightly at him. But Harry thinks that maybe he’s smiling to Nora and not to him? But then Louis’ words echo in his mind.

                _“He needs you like he needs the fucking air he breathes.”_

                Maybe there’s some truth to it. Or maybe Louis’ just clueless.  

                “What?” Eleanor barks at Harry, after catching him smirking at her for the fifth time. He can’t help it; he keeps picturing Eleanor in a big puffy wedding dress and the image amazes him.

                “Nothing.”

                Eleanor mumbles, “Lying bastard,” before shoving food in her mouth and plopping her head onto Louis’ shoulder next to her.

                Louis looks up at Harry and winks slyly.

                “What’s that all about?” Liam asks lowly, clearly amused. His breath tickles the shell of Harry’s left ear and he loves the feeling.

                Harry smirks, “Nothing.”

~~~  

_“I swear I heard something,” Harry said lowly, his heavy eyes darted left and right._

_Gemma sighed, “You haven’t slept in three days, Haz.”_

_“I’m fine,” Harry huffed, his hand planted to his right pocket, ready to draw his father’s gun at any second if needed._

_They were close to the city, or at least Harry thought they were. He wasn’t sure anymore, of anything really. He knows they’ve been walking for days, or at least days-perhaps weeks even. And he knew was that more and more people were growing anxious and violent. He tried not to think about all the violence and looting, because it just made him too anxious._

_They needed a shower, and poor Nora needed an actual bed to sleep on. But it was too dangerous to stop for longer then a few hours. And in those few hours, Gemma would sleep with her daughter on her chest, and Harry would stay up and be on look out. His feet and back hurt beyond what he thought was possible. His vision was heavy and blurry and there were tiny cuts on all over his arms from bushes and shrubs._

_But Harry couldn’t worry over his own concerns, not when they were so much to worry about._

_They stopped beside a creek. Harry sat on a rock and rested his head against a tree and Gemma sat on a log across from him. She slowly feed Nora some canned sweet potatoes and peas while Gemma munched on a granola bar. She looked up at her brother and handed the bar over to him; Harry shook his head._

_“Harry, stop that!” Gemma scolded, “you need food.”_

_A twig snapped somewhere behind them._

_Harry stood up in a flash._

_“Did you hear that?” Harry asked, his head whipping around in all directions._

_Gemma sighed, “Haz, nothing’s here.”_

_It happened again, and Harry went in front of Gemma with his father’s gun drawn._

_“Harry-”_

_“Shh.”_

_“You know I don’t like that gun around Nor-”_

_“I know you’re there!” Harry yelled out, “We have weapons. I-I’ll kill ya if your come any closer!”_

_“Harry,” Gemma scolded lowly, bringing Nora closer to her chest._

_“Get outta of here!” Harry yelled, “Leave us alone and you won’t get killed!”_

_There was a pause, before a rustle occurred in the bushes beside them. Harry turned and-_

_And a man, a handsome young man appeared with his arms in held in surrender. Harry’s heart jumped in his chest, his hand lowered that held the gun slightly. The man had wide brown eyes, earnest and gorgeous. His hair was freshly buzzed, little fuzzes of brown hair left. He wore a dirty tank top that used to be white and Harry’s eyes bugged out at the sight of the rifle strapped to his chest. But the gun was behind him, showing he had not intention of harming them._

_“I’m not going to hurt you,” the man said, oddly calm._

_Harry’s hand tightened around the gun as he scoffed. No matter how attractive this guy was, he wouldn’t put a stranger’s word over his family’s safety._

_“Then what do you want?”_

_“My friend, well,” the man pondered, “he’s not really my friend I guess. We met a few days ago and-Niall’s his name. He’s hurt, twisted his ankle and can barely support himself,” the man looked down, “We saw you guys hours ago and we’ve been following you ever since.”_

_“Why?” Harry asked._

_“I saw you had a first aid kit. You took it out to put Band-Aid on the girl,” he pointed to the pink bandage on Nora’s finger, who pricked her finger on a bush hours before. The man went on, “I was hoping you have an Ace bandage so I could wrap up from friend’s ankle in.”_

_Harry eyed the man, “How do I know you’re not lying? How do I know this isn’t a trap?”_

_“You don’t,” the man grinned kindly and Harry frowned, “Our camp isn’t far from here. I’ll take you to my friend and the rest of my group. I’ll be your hostage-you can hold me by my gun as I lead the way and I promise I won’t hurt you-any of you, and neither will anyone else in my camp.”_

_Harry quickly looked to his sister, “Can we trust him, Gems?”_

_His sister shrugged, “No but-” she looked over to the man, “He wouldn’t leave his camp to come here by himself. If he wanted to hurt us and steal form us, he’d bring his whole camp. Plus, he said he’d let you hold his gun, and I assume any other weapons he might have on him-”_

_“Of course,” the man interjected. Harry jerked the gun towards him._

_“Shut up!” Harry yelled and the man flinched._

_Nora let out a cry and Gemma scolded him, “Harry.”_

_Harry blinked rapidly as he thought, “O-Okay, we’ll go with you,” the man grinned, “But, I’ll need any weapons you have on you.”_

_“Yes, certainly.”_

_Harry went up to him and held the gun against the man’s head as he searched his body. The man scoffed and kept still._

_“My back left pocket,” he told Harry. Harry gulped and reached around. His hand grazed the stranger’s ass and he quickly grabbed a pocket knife to avoid embarrassment._

_“Thanks,” Harry mumbled unsurely._

_The man shook his head, “Thank you. Niall’s got a nasty sprain, it’s bruised and everything.”_

_“We’ll probably want to support it with sticks then,” Gemma said. Harry looked at her. She had Nora strapped to her chest again, with her backpack on and her suitcase in hand and Harry’s in the other._

_When he turned back to the stranger, the man was grinning happily, “It’s nice to find there are still people out here with compassion.”_

_“If you’re playing a trick on us, I’ll blow your brains out,” Harry grunted, and hoped he sounded somewhat menacing. The man grinned._

_“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” he said easily and turned around with his hands still in the air. Harry blinked at him before grabbing the man’s rifle and tugging on it to bring him right up to his chest. A part of Harry felt sick as he pointed his father’s had gun to the stranger’s head but the man seemed completely at ease. Somehow, it made Harry less anxious. The man turned his head a little and met Harry’s eyes, “I’m Liam, by the way. What’s your name?”_

_“You don’t need to know that,” he huffed, “Once we wrap your friend’s ankle, we’re gone.”_

_“His name is Harry,” Gemma tells the man, or Liam rather. She had that smart-alecky tone in her voice that always irked Harry as a kid._

_“Well hello Harry,” Liam said casually, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”_

_Harry froze before scoffing and shoving Liam forward a bit._

_“Move,” he instructed._

~~~ 

                Three members of the clan left the household a few mornings later to go into the city.

                Only two of them returned.

                Harry is on the front porch when Liam sluggishly walks towards the house and one glance at him, Harry knows something is wrong. He looks dazed, stunned even, and he’s very pale.

                The closer he comes to the house, Harry realizes that there’s blood on his shirt.

                “Liam!” Harry runs to him, his stomach sinking at the thought of Liam being hurt. He hears the rest of the household that stayed back come rushing out into the yard but Liam, Liam has blood on his shirt and that’s all he can think of.

                Liam stops when Harry approaches him. He puts a hand on Liam’s torso where the blood is stained on his grey shirt. Liam’s hand grabs Harry’s wrist and that too has blood on it but it’s dried.

                “It’s not-” Liam speaks, voice shaky and stunned. Harry looks up at Liam and frowns. The blood on the shirt is also dry. Liam gulps and says lowly, “It’s not mine.”

                Harry feels relief rush over him.

                “Where’s Oli?” Stan asks suddenly behind Harry.

                Harry looks over Liam’s should and finds Eleanor looking on the ground. She too has blood on her arms but there’s no sign of the third member that went with them that morning.

                Oli.

                Harry feels sick and backs away from Liam.

                Liam helplessly looks up at him, his lips trembling.

                “W-We were heading back,” Eleanor says. She sounds so off, so far away then just ten feet or so. Liam is too silent for Harry’s liking so he looks at Liam as Eleanor goes on, “Then this dog, this fucking huge dog came out of nowhere. He-he was crazy, mouth foaming and-he got Oli.”

                Harry gasps as he watches Liam’s eyes twist shut.

                “I-I,” Eleanor gulps, “I shot the dog with my bow but it was-fuck Oli,” her voice breaks and she stops talking.

                “What?” Stan asks behind them, sounding hostile, “What’d you guys fucking do?!”

                Harry can’t look away from Liam, “L-Liam?”

                “It was so bad Stan,” Eleanor tries to explain, “That dog had to been close to 200 pounds and it just-it was so fucking crazy. He had to have rabies or something.”

                “Where’s Oli?” Stan yells again.

                Eleanor breathes loudly and looks to the ground, “He was bleeding so much Stan. W-We couldn’t-there wasn’t anything else we could do except-”

                The silence answers the question for Harry and he assumes everyone else. But Stan is adamant.

                “Except what?” he demands.

                Liam picks his head up and Harry deflates. His eyes are rimmed red and his voice is flat as he speaks.

                “Put him out of misery.”

                Behind him, Harry hears Niall swear under his breath. Louis comes up to Eleanor and pulls her into his chest. She sobs loudly in his chest but Harry can’t breathe.

                “Y-You,” Stan comes up beside Harry, his fuming gaze locked on Liam, “You killed him?”

                Liam flinches and looks away. He nods weakly once and Harry just wants to hug him and never let go.

                “You fucking bastard!” Stan yells and lurches towards Liam. Harry acts on impulse and pulls Stan back and Niall comes up and helps him. Stan trashes in their arms, his hands reaching for Liam, “You fucking murdered him! H-He was my best friend and you killed him!”

                “Stan there was nothing we could’ve done,” Eleanor tries to tell him, “he was losing so much blood and-he was in so much pain.”

                “He trusted you guys! He trusted you Liam and fucking slaughtered him!” Stan yells.

                “Shut up Stan!” Harry shouts at him and shoves him back towards the house, “Stop it!”

                Stan sneers, “It should’ve been you, Liam. You should’ve been the one that never came back. You should’ve been the one dead.”

                Harry punches Stan square in the jaw, with a force Harry didn’t know it existed in him before.

                He blinks down at the stunned Stan on the ground, his hand covering his nose. Harry heaves for air, shocked, as Niall tugs on his arm.

                “It’s okay, I got this,” he tells him. Harry’s stunned and barely hears him. But Niall looks at Harry dead in the eyes, “He needs you, Harry. Go to him.”

                Harry nods and looks around. Eleanor’s still crying, Louis looks shocked and Niall’s tending to Stan.

                But Liam’s gone. And Harry needs to find him.

                Harry turns and runs towards the back of the house. Liam likes to go back there, to be alone and to think. But Harry doesn’t get very far. He finds Liam beside the house, bent over slightly while he retches and dry heaves. Harry winces, but comes up behind him and rubs his back.

                “Breathe Liam,” Harry tells him once Liam’s done. Liam stands up straight and wipes his mouth. His whole body is trembling and he can’t seem to look at Harry in the eye. But his hand latches onto Harry’s and Harry gives him a small smile.

                “We need to clean ya up.”

                He makes Liam a hot cup of tea with dried mint leaves. Liam winces as he swallows the first gulp but Harry keeps the cup in his face until Liam drinks it all. He hands Liam a few more fresh mint leaves to chew on, to settle his stomach and freshen up his breath. Liam chews on it slowly, and keeps his grazed fixed on the floor of the kitchen. Harry decides not to push it, and instead he fills a bowl with hot water. He plops in a lavender flower he found in the woods the other day and picks up a somewhat cleaned towel before of gentle pulls Liam outside.

                Liam’s in some sort of trance, refusing to speak and barely moves. Harry bites his lip as his hands grab the bottom of Liam’s shirt. He elbows Liam’s arm and he seems to understand because the next second Liam lifts his arms up. Harry ignores the blush spreading over his cheeks as he rids Liam of his bloody shirt and puts it to the side. Harry dips the rag in the hot lavender water and turns back to Liam. Liam’s eyes are locked on his deserted shirt.

                “I’ll get the blood off,” Harry promises him.

                Liam shakes his head, “I wanna burn it, never see it again.” Liam looks up to Harry for reassurance.

                “Okay,” Harry agrees, “whatever you want, Liam.”

                Harry hesitates a before grabbing Liam’s blood stained hands. Harry decides quickly that he can’t think of this too hard. He can’t think of the blood as Oli’s, even if it’s true. Harry just takes action and scrubs the dried crimson streaks with the hot rag. It tints the rag pink when he finished with Liam’s left hand and he rings the rag out in the hot water before moving to Liam’s other hand. He remains mute the entire time and Harry would give anything to know what’s going through his mind.

                There’s a patch of blood on Liam’s lower torso, just to the right of his belly button. Harry flushes before taking the rag to that spot. Liam’s stomach jumps, a tiny breath escapes his lips, and Harry’s hand has to steady him. He holds Liam into place by his hip and continues to scrub. After a second or so, Liam places his hand over Harry’s on his hip. Harry’s skin prickles at the touch and…it shouldn’t, really. He’s known Liam for two years now-things shouldn’t be this awkward between them. He’s seen Liam’s shirtless before countless times, but he’s never touched him before, not like this.

                “I-I didn’t want to do it, Haz.”

                Harry freezes. He’s never called him Haz before. The only person who did was-

                _“Please Haz,” she begged, “Don’t let her see.”_

                Harry picks his head up; Liam’s eyes are welling up with tears.

                It breaks Harry’s heart, “Liam-”

                “It was s-so bad, Harry,” He rasps and shakes his head, “B-Blood everywhere and he-fuck, he _begged_ us to make the pain stop. And there-” he shook his head, his whole body shaking. Harry swallows thickly, his stomach churning at what Liam had gone through. “I-I couldn’t do anything else, Haz. There wasn’t n-nothing I could do except…make it not hurt anymore,” Liam lets out a shaky breath, “It’s not like we just left him there-we found a broken shovel and buried him. I-It was the least we could do.”

                Liam looks back up at him, eyes pleading and drowning in tears, “You believe me right, Haz? Don’t ya?”

                “Of course I do,” Harry admits in a heartbeat. He cautiously cups Liam’s cheek and gives him a tiny smile, “You’re a good guy, Li. You had no other choice. I believe you.”

                Harry watches as Liam as he leans in closer to him. Harry frowns just as Liam’s lips quickly press against his. It’s so timid and unsure, but the sensation of having Liam kiss him is beyond anything Harry could’ve imagined. He’s thought about this too many times, in great detail. How Liam’s hand cups the back of his neck as the kiss. How Liam’s lips feel firm yet gentle against his, but they’re softer then he expected. Harry flutters his eyes and sinks into kiss.

                It’s over too quickly. Liam breaks away and takes in a large breath before nuzzling the top of his head into Harry’s chest. Harry gulps thickly and drops his head onto of Liam’s, so that his nose is in his hair. Harry places his head around Liam’s ears. They stay like this for a while, as the highs from Harry kissing Liam leaves him. It’s warm out, yet every once in a while a cool breeze settles around them.

                “I got something for Nora,” Liam says quietly.

                Harry smirks, “Really?”

                Liam lifts his head up. They lock eyes as Liam reaches for the back pocket of his jeans and Harry wonders if he’s going to say anything about the kiss. Is he supposed to pretend that it didn’t happen? Is that what Liam wanted to do, forget it? Harry can’t dwell on it for too long before Liam brings his hand towards Harry.

                “You said Nora needs new books,” Liam shrugs sheepishly, “I found this in town. Ya think Nora will like it?”

                Harry grins down at the book.

                “I loved _Where the Wild Things Are_ when I was little,” Harry looks back up at Liam with so much fond, it hurts Harry’s chest, “I’m sure she’ll love it too. Thank you Liam.”

                Harry leans in and kisses Liam’s cheek. He sees Liam blushing madly as he pulls back. Harry wants to know what that means. He wants to know if they’ll kiss again, because he wants to so badly.

                But Liam smiles at him, and for right now, that’s all Harry needs.

~~~

                _Harry shot up from his sleep._

_“Gem?” He mumbled in his daze. He tried to look for them, “Nora? Gem?”_

_“Easy, easy,” a man said beside him. Harry looked over and saw the man._

_Liam. His name was Liam._

_“Where’s my sister?” Harry questioned again._

_“She’s with Eleanor over there.” Harry looked to where Liam was pointing and breathed a sigh of relief for a second when he saw his sister and niece were safe, standing next to some unfamiliar woman. But his relief was short lived as he turned to Liam, confused._

_“Who’s Eleanor?” he asked._

_Liam’s face fell, “She’s with me? Eleanor? You know, you met her a few days ago?” Harry winced, and looked back to his sister._

_“Days?”_

_Liam hummed in confirmation, “You’ve been mostly asleep for two days now.”_

_“Really?” Harry questioned, and Liam nodded. “Wow.”_

_“You needed it,” Liam commented, “I knew that the second I saw you.”_

_Harry huffed, “Don’t act like you know me.”_

_“I don’t know you,” Liam agreed, “but you passed out after you and Gemma wrapped up Niall’s ankle.”_

_Harry frowned and tried to think back, “I don’t remember that.”_

_“I’m not surprised,” Liam said. Harry turned to him and noticed he was smiling fondly. He handed Harry a canteen, “You need water and food before you go back to sleep.”_

_“I’m fine,” Harry insisted, “Give it to Gemma and Nora.”_

_“They’ve been drinking water regularly for two days. You haven’t,” Liam handed Harry the canteen again, “Drink.”_

_This time, Harry didn’t bother trying to refuse._

_He drank the whole thing in a few sips, his dusty throat felt replenished afterwards._

_“Thank you,” Harry mumbled once he was finished._

_Liam handed him a few saltine crackers with a swipe of peanut butter on them. Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Liam beat him to the punch._

_“Gemma and Nora already had their snacks,” Liam said, “We all divide our food evenly here-no one goes hungry and no one has more then their share. So eat.”_

_Harry forced himself not to eat the crackers too quickly. For some reason, he didn’t want to look like a fool in front of Liam. Liam got up and refilled the canteen and Harry felt his eyes wonder in his direction. Liam was gorgeous, too gorgeous for this fucked up world. Harry would’ve totally tried to hot on Liam if he’d met him in the past. But as it stood, this was no place for anything like that._

_Harry’s priority was for himself and his family to survive, not to get involved with this Liam guy._

_But he’s curious…_

_“How’d you meet everyone else here?” Harry asked, after noticing that there were more people then just Liam and Eleanor around the makeshift campsite._

_Liam shrugged, “When everything went tits up and people were going crazy, I packed up everything I felt like I needed and took off.”_

_“Where were you from?” Harry couldn’t help prod._

_“Jersey, born and raised,” Liam told him, “I met Louis first,” Liam nodded over to a man with short brown hair and blue eyes. He lingered around Harry’s sister and Eleanor, but Harry noticed just how fixated Louis was on Eleanor._

_Liam went on, “Lou’s from Chicago originally. So he was all by himself and seemed like a decent guy, so we paired up._

_“Next we found Eleanor. She was fighting off some asshole who was trying to steal her stuff. So Lou and I beat the crap out of him and Eleanor stuck around. She’s from Michigan, and was in New York for school. He dad taught her how to hunt with a bow and arrow and she’s crazy skilled at it too. She shot a bunny from ten feet away and we ate for days.”_

_Harry grimaced._

_Liam tacked on, “Then there’s Oli and Stan. They only joined the pack a few weeks ago but they’re putting in their work and help out. I’m still getting used to them but they seem good enough. And then there’s Niall. He’s from Ireland, and came to New York to study aboard. Because planes are grounded indefinitely, Niall can’t go back home. We met him a few days ago and he joined our group.”_

_Harry nodded as he took in the information._

_“Gemma says you’re both from New Haven?”_

_Harry bit his lip and nodded._

_Liam studied him before concluding, “We don’t have to talk about home and are families if you don’t want to.”_

_“I don’t want to,” Harry says adamantly._

_“Okay,” Liam coughed tightly, “You can go to sleep if you need to.”_

_Harry squinted at him unsurely, “Why are you so eager for me to go sleep again?”_

_“Please,” Liam scoffed, “f I wanted to steal from you or harm you in any way, don’t ya think I would’ve done that at some point during the two days you were asleep?”_

_Harry felt foolish, “Sorry.”_

_“It’s fine,” Liam promised, “I would constantly be on edge if I had my sister and baby niece out here too.”_

_Harry nibbled his lip, “Do you have any siblings?”_

_“Two older sisters,” Liam told him with a smile laced on his lips._

_But the smile dropped almost as soon as the words are out of his mouth._

_“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about our families,” Liam said lowly._

_“Okay.”_

_Harry laid down on the ground, and noticed he was under a tree. It was a warm day, and the sun was partially in Harry’s heavy eyes. He heard the ground wrestle behind him and looked over his shoulder just as Liam was laying down behind him._

_“You don’t mind do you?” Liam asked Harry, “I just-figured I could use a nap as well.”_

_Harry swallowed thickly and looked over to his sister and niece unsurely._

_“I promise you’re all safe here,” Liam assured him quickly. Harry looked back at Liam and he’s stare was serious and unwavering, “We mean no harm. You guys can stay as long as you like with us.”_

_“We’ll leave in the morning,” Harry insisted. Liam’s face fell and he looked away awkwardly as he nodded._

_Harry didn’t know what to make of that._

_“Okay,” Liam mumbled before turning over and facing away from Harry. He curled up slightly and peeked over his shoulder, “Sweet dreams Harry.”_

_Harry looked up at the branches as he tried to will himself to sleep. But he couldn’t drift to sleep. He kept thinking about his family and what he needed to do what was best for them. He knew they couldn’t travel for much longer-he couldn’t put his family through that anymore, they needed to settle down and find some place safe to stay. Liam and his clan seemed like decent people, but Harry didn’t know them. But…while Harry was passed out, they took care of Gemma and Nora, when they didn’t have to. They could’ve hurt them and himself as well…but they didn’t. Gemma was smiling as she spoke to Eleanor. And Nora seemed fine. And Harry was fine too…he was more then fine really. He felt like he didn’t need to be on guard constantly. He had been able to sleep, thanks to Liam._

_And for the first time in months, Harry felt safe with Liam…_

_Harry and his family didn’t leave the next morning._


	2. Chapter Two

Harry pokes at the fire gingerly with a long stick and watches embers flare up into the early evening sky.

                “You think he’s coming back?” Niall asks, breaking the long silence.

                Harry shrugs, “Doubt it,” he sighs, “Stan took all his shit, there’s nothing left. He’s gone.”

                Stan left in the middle of the night hours before. He didn’t leave a note, and no one else saw him leave except for Niall. Niall stayed up with Stan, fearing that he would try to hurt Liam or anyone else in the clan unless he was watched like a hawk. Apparently, sometime after midnight, Stan just got up, mindlessly packed all his belongings, and left the house, despite Niall trying to convince him to stay.

                “He didn’t take his gun,” Niall states. He shrugs, his eyes entranced by the dwindling fire before them, “He probably won’t last more then a month on his own.”

                Harry gulps, but his empathy for Stan goes away quickly when he remembers all the shit he said about Liam the day before.

                “He made his choice.”

                Niall looks down at Nora on his chest, “How’s Liam?”

                Harry drops his head and sigh. The day’s been very long day.

                “He’s…okay, I guess,” Harry says, “He’s slept most of the day.” 

                “Does he know Stan left?” Niall asks.

                Harry nods, “Yeah. He feels terrible about it.”

                “I dunno why,” Niall says, “It’s not his fault that dog attacked Oli. El said it was so bad; there was nothing that could’ve saved him. Oli was suffering, no point in making him hurt any longer.”

                Harry gulps, “Liam didn’t want to do it-”

                “Christ, Harry. We know that, believe me we do,” Niall assures him, “Liam’s a saint. Stan was just being a shit when he said that stuff.”

                Harry looks up at the swirls of red and orange in the horizon where the sun is setting.

                “It’s crazy,” he says quietly, “If…things weren’t the way they are, we could’ve taken Oli to a hospital. He could’ve lived.”

                Niall shrugs, “Yeah, well. It’s crazy that you can get a scratch these days and it can kill ya.”

                Harry darts his eyes down to Nora. It’s almost her bed time and she’s sleepy, her wide brown eyes are crossing slightly. Harry smirks at her.

                “You’re worried about everything all the time, H,” Niall notes.

                “Aren’t you?” Harry asks.

                Niall shakes his head, “Not really.”

                “Why?”

                “This whole thing, it made me realize that we don’t have control over anything,” Niall shrugs, “I mean, I guess we have some choice and some say. But this was supposed to happen I guess. I was supposed to leave Ireland and go to New York for school. And then the world went to shit, and all the protest stopped any kind of traveling, so I couldn’t go back home. I thought I wouldn’t make it. I didn’t have any weapons on me. I didn’t know New York like I knew Ireland. I figured I was doomed.

                “But then, I met Liam and he took me in. I dunno his story, none of us do, “Harry looks away because that’s not true, “But Louis was in New York for work, and Eleanor was there for school too. And Oli and Stan grew up there, and I dunno,” Niall sighs, “I just feels like this all was supposed to happen for a reason. That horrible disease was supposed to happen and start all this. I dunno why, but if I question it too much I’d go mad. So I figure-why even bother? I got you guys, and when we’re all together it’s not so bad, right?”

                Harry thinks about how there are a few people missing in their clan, particularly one person that Harry thinks about several times everyday.

                _“Please Harry,” she begged, “Don’t let her see.”_

“This one’s falling asleep on me,” Niall gestures to Nora with a wide smile on his face.

                Harry scoffs and gets up. He scoops up Nora in his arms and kisses her on the head.

                “Say good night, Nora,” Harry prompts. 

                Nora waves her small hand absentmindedly, her eyes still closed.

                Niall laughs, “Night Nors,” he looks up at Harry with stoic eyes, “Take care of him.”

                Harry bites his lip and nods.

                Liam’s still awake on Harry’s bed. There are bags under Liam’s eyes, his face is far too emotionless, and Liam’s curled in on himself, his arms hugging his legs in his chest. But Harry sighs in relief when he sees that Liam’s eaten most of his rabbit stew, the nearly empty bowl is on the end table next to the bed. He sees Harry and Nora walk in and his stone face breaks for a small smile at Harry, but he doesn’t say anything.

                He’s barely said a word all day.

                “It’s bed time,” Harry announces happily. He pulls off Nora’s day clothes and finds her pjs. Once dressed for bed, Harry brings her over to the collection of books Harry has on another small table in the room by the window. He picks up _Where the Wild Things Are_ and turns to hand the book over to Liam instead.

                Liam looks up at him ad frowns, to which Harry smiles in return, “Nora wants you to read to her,” he says, “Can you do that, Li?”

                Liam pauses before nodding feebly and taking the book from Harry’s hand.

                Harry places Nora in her single bed and pulls the covers to her shoulders. She’s already half asleep by the time Liam opens the book and reads the first page. Harry smiles at the scene, watching Liam reading softly to his niece is beyond precious. His voice is monotone as he reads, but Nora doesn’t seem to mind, and Harry could listen to Liam read the dictionary for hours on end and he’d thoroughly enjoy it. By the time he finishes the story, Nora’s fast sleep. Liam leans down first and kisses the girl’s head. Harry follows suit, and leaves Nora after bundling her up tightly under the blankets.

                Sheepishly, Harry begins to strip down to his boxers. He rummages through her drawer until her finds a clean pair of sweatpants for bed. He’s aware, as he bends down and slips his feet into the sweatpants, that Liam is behind him. He can feel his eyes are on his body, but he has no idea what Liam’s thinking. Nothing’s been said about the kiss they’ve shared the day before. Harry’s too scared to bring it up, fearing that Liam will regret it.

                Harry can’t stomach the idea of Liam regretting their kiss.

                Liam holds back the covers of Harry’s bed and lets Harry slip in first. Harry tucks himself in, his eye slinger off to the side where Liam’s stripping off his shirt. He tries not to stare, because it’s not proper. Liam’s…depressed, or off at least. It’s not right for Harry to long for him, to desire Liam’s body when he’s in such a state.

                But Liam catches his stare, and manages to smirk at him before pulling back the covers and letting himself into Harry’s bed. He puts his head on the pillow, just inches away from Harry’s, and he stares at him for long, drawn out seconds. Harry’s heart pounds in his chest as he waits, and wonders, before Liam swiftly moves in.

                This kiss is more urgent then the day they had on the previous day. It’s strange. All day, Harry’s seen this lifeless version of Liam Payne. But now, with Liam’s lips are moving with fever, his hand on Harry’s neck is practically scotching his skin. Harry selfishly sinks into the kiss, not being able to stop and not wanting to either. He’s not of nothing else but the kiss they’ve shared the day before and to experience it again is better then Harry remembers it being.

                Harry smirks into Liam’s lips before pulling back, his lips reluctantly parting from Liam’s pillow-y ones. His amber eyes are soft with sleep and for the first time all day, he looks at peace.

                “Are you okay?” Harry asks carefully.

                Liam pauses before nodding slowly, “I’m getting there. I’ll get there.”

~~~

                _“Hey.”_

_Harry pulled his eyes off of the sunrise and cautiously looked behind him. Liam smiles at him, and Harry thought that Liam hadn’t been awake for more then a couple of minutes. His hair was ruffled and his eyes hazy. But he was wearing a thin grey tank top and a pair of sweatpants and had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Harry couldn’t help but admire the view of him. Liam was a beautiful man, even fresh from his sleep._

_Harry’s eyes follow Liam was he walked up, “Hi.” Liam sat on the fallen tree beside Harry; their legs were touching and Harry tried desperately hard not to get too distracted by it._

_“You’re up early,” Liam commented._

_Harry shrugged, “I barely slept last night.”_

_“Why?”_

_Harry looked out in the horizon, the sun blaring in his eyes._

_“I kept thinking about my parents,” Harry confessed with a shaky breath, “Like, I just kept wondering what if-what if they’re still alive? What if they came back home and saw that we left them? What if they’re looking for us right now and we’re here?”_

_Liam stayed quiet and it made Harry nervous. For months he had bottled these thoughts up. He didn’t even dare tell Gemma about it._

_“You thinking about leaving?” Liam asked, and Harry noticed the heaviness in his voice._

_Harry signed, “I don’t know. It just. I’m having a hard time accepting all this,” he shook his head, “I can’t believe the world is like this now. Banks are closing, companies are shutting down, police stations and hospitals are closing their doors. People are getting killed and-”_

_Harry didn’t mean to let a sob out. He didn’t mean to start crying, especially not in front of Liam. He hated looking weak in front of Liam, or anyone for that matter. Harry wanted to die when he felt Liam pull him into his body to let his cry on his chest. He would’ve hated it more, if Liam didn’t smell like sweet woodsy pine. Just the scent calmed Harry down a little, enough for him to get a grip of his emotions._

_“Easy there,” Liam instructed, “It’s okay.”_

_Harry shook his head._

_Liam stroked Harry’s hair, and Harry felt Liam’s chest exhale._

_“Before everything went to shit,” Liam said emotionless, “About two years or so before the sickness started popping up, I got in a really bad fight with my family.”_

_Harry frowned as he sniffled. He didn’t dare move. He hadn’t heard Liam ever talk about his family, except the brief mention that he was from New Jersey and he had two sisters. Harry pulled back and Liam’s eyes were hard and distant._

_“My dad was a drunk, had been for years. He verbally abused us all and he always made us feel miserable. I told him off one day, thinking my sisters and mom would agree and side with me. But they didn’t. They were too scared of him, so they let me take the fall. My dad beat the crap outta me and kicked me out. I was turning eighteen, and had no fucking clue what I was doing_

_“I went to Boston, then to Portland, Maine, and then back to New York to figure out stuff. I picked up jobs here and there to make ends meet. About after eight months of blowing most of my savings, I figured out I wanted to go to school and get a degree in business. I started going to community college in New York and I worked any job I could get. At that point, I noticed the unrest beginning to grow so I started buying supplies.”_

_Harry smirked, “Except a first aid kit,” he chimed in knowingly. Liam scoffed._

_“Yeah except that,” Liam agreed, his voice small. He looked away, breaking the eye contact, “When the riots started, and people were burning everything, I started heading back to New Jersey. I figured we could get out of state, go somewhere rural. But when I got there…” Liam paused, his graze dropped to his hands on his lap, “They weren’t there.”_

_Harry gulped._

_“My old neighbor told me that they left New Jersey two months before, and had gone out west to Montana where my uncle lived.”_

_“Wait,” Harry said lowly, “They left?”_

_Liam nodded, his head looking like it weight ten pounds heavier, “Yep. They left.”_

_But Harry heard ‘They left me.’_

_“Oh Liam,” Harry sighed._

_Liam picked his head up, his eyes shiner then before, “It’s fine, if you don’t think about it too much it’s fine.”_

_“That’s horrible,” Harry said brokenly._

_Liam shrugged one of his shoulders, “I can’t change the past. That was supposed to happen, this all was supposed to happen.”_

_“I dunno if I believe that,” Harry confessed, “I can’t believe that, that this was always planned. That this was all supposed to go to shit. How are we supposed to just accept that?”_

_Liam smiled weakly, “Like I said, if you don’t think too much about it, it’s not so bad,” he sighed, “There are a lot of things we would’ve changed in our lives bad we can do anything about it now. So we focus on the future instead, and I’m planning on surviving for a long time, long after we rebuild society.”_

_“You really think people are gonna rebuild?” Harry asked, his voice slightly skeptic._

_Liam nodded, “Yeah, I do. Maybe not now and maybe not even for a while, but yeah. People will rebuild eventually.”_

_Harry didn’t expect Liam to reach over and grab his hand in his. Harry nearly shivers under Liam’s touch; his palm meaty and his fingers tightly curly around his hand. It made Harry’s head grow lighter and he hope he wasn’t blushing._

_“I won’t hold you back Harry,” Liam told him seriously. He smiled at him bashfully before brushing back his hair from his eyes, “If you feel like you and Gemma and Nora must leave, then go. But it would feel weird. I know you’ve only been with use for a few weeks but I can’t picture this clan without you guys.”_

_Harry felt his heart soar inside of him._

_“Louis and I are planning leaving the woods within the next couple of days to go find the city. We’ll find an abandoned house and set up camp there,” Liam smirked, his eyes lingering on Harry’s, “I want you to stay and come with us so bad, but not if you don’t want to.”_

_Liam left him without looking back; Harry stared at him as Liam walked farther into the bushes until his disappeared._

_He didn’t have to think much about leaving after that._

_His parent’s being alive was uncertain; their whereabouts unclear._

_But Liam was here; Liam was a part of his future._

_So three days later, Harry found himself next to Liam one his right and Gemma was on his left, with Nora strapped to her body to his left as the clan headed east to find the city-to find their new future._

_Harry never regretted staying_

~~~

                “Harry, I’m fine,” Liam whines though a smirk.

                “I’m just making sure,” Harry hisses, his nails lightly digging into the back of Liam’s knuckles to scold him. Liam doesn’t look that affected by it, as he smirks down at Harry with half lidded, fond eyes.

                Harry looks past Liam and locks eyes with Eleanor and Niall, “You take care of him, yeah?”

                “Harry,” Niall groans as he hoists his gun over his shoulder, “We need to get back from hunting before noon.”

                “Okay, okay,” Harry caves. He looks back at Liam and squeezes Liam’s hand, “Stay safe.”

                “You too,” Liam tells him before leaning in. He kisses Harry’s cheek, right in front of everyone without any hesitation. Harry tucks his cheek into his shoulder to hide his blush. Liam points at Louis as he begins to walk away, “Be safe, all of you.”

                Harry stays and watches as Liam, Eleanor and Niall head off to the woods. When he finally looks back to Louis, who’s holding a fuzzy Nora in his arms, he’s grinning like a cat at Harry.

                “You and Liam?” Louis finally asks a few minutes later, when they were on the road heading towards the city. Nora is trotting along a few steps ahead of them, picking up small pebbles in her hands and throwing them to the side. Harry smirks as she watches her hum along, oblivious to the world around them.

                Harry rolls his eyes, “What about us?”

                “Don’t play coy,” Louis tells him and Harry can hear his smile, “You two were acting all cuddly and lovey dovey back there.”

                “Like you and Eleanor don’t act like that,” Harry snorts.

                Louis concludes, “So you two are together then?”

                “I guess?” Harry says unsurely. He shrugs, his eyes still on Nora’s pigtails, “We haven’t really talked about it. I don’t wanna rush it, whatever this is.”

                It had been a little over two weeks since the whole Oli incident and Stan leaving the clan. Liam had grown stronger every day, and slowly Harry watched him become like his old self. Liam’s smile returned three days later, his laughter came back the following day, and his normal appetite reappeared the day after that. Liam says he’s fine, that he doesn’t think about it too much, but Harry knows that Liam is still having issues with sleeping.

                All the while, Liam had grown somehow closer to Harry. Somehow, Liam wasn’t just Harry’s savior and best friend, he was now Harry’s lover too-even if it was just kisses here and there and long hours of cuddling.

                “Well I’m happy for you guys,” Louis says sincerely.

                Harry grins sheepishly, “Thanks man.”

                They walk for a little while longer until the city comes into view. Harry remembers coming to New York several times as a kid. He remembers how bright and shiny everything was, how tall the buildings were and how New York just looked so majestic before.

                But now, as Harry walks into the city with Nora in his arms, it’s in shambles. Buildings that used to touch the sky are piles under Harry’s feet. The rubble comes to Harry’s knees in most spots; twisted metal and brick are everywhere. The smell of smoke is thick in the air, and there’s almost a fog of it settling low all around them.

                Harry gulps as he looks around. The people in the city don’t look as friendly as the people in Harry’s clan. They’re dirtier, soot coving most of their exposed skin, and they wear scowls as they watch Harry and Louis walk by. Harry holds onto Nora ore securely as they walk deeper in. Harry’s only been to the city as it is now once before, when the clan walked through it to find a new home. Rom what Harry barely remembers of it, the city looks more depleted and worse off then before.

                “That’s Nick’s,” Louis points him to a corner building that’s managed to still remained mostly intact. There are bars over the window, and a poorly made wooden fence around the paint stripped door. But there’s a sign to the left that says what they’ll take for trade: batteries, weapons, medicines, and even hair. Harry didn’t even know people were trading hair for supplies. “We go there for batteries and medicine. Sometimes he has beans and oatmeal but there’s a supplier on the other street that has food. We won’t need to go to Nick’s today, but we need to go to Alberto, who has food. And then we’ll head over to Jesy’s.”

                Harry nods as he blindly follows Louis. Normally, he wouldn’t be here, and he certainly wouldn’t have Nora with him. But no one goes to the city alone, no one goes hunting alone, and no one stays at the house alone. Those are simply the rule of the clan, and they make sense. The clan protects everyone within it; no one goes at it alone. But with both Oli and Stan both gone, it makes things more challenging. Before, Harry could stay at home with Nora while the others went out to hunt or to get supplies. Now, however, Harry and Nora have to go with either group and Harry felt that it’d be safer to go to the city with Nora instead of hunting.

                But now, actually being in the city, Harry’s not so sure it’s safe at all.

                Albert seems like a decent guy. He’s big and muscular, but he has a wide smile and a hearty laugh. Louis seems to know him well, well enough that Alberto already has a box of boxed and canned foods ready for them when they walk up. Alberto greets Harry with a smile and even gives Nora a piece of chocolate. Harry’s eyes widen at the sight of sweets. He used to have a huge sweet tooth when he was a kid and he hadn’t even seen a piece of candy in years now and he thought that candies were long gone. Nora’s never eaten any candies before and that thought makes Harry sad. But he watches fondly as Nora unsurely licks the chocolate.

                “Hmm,” she hums excitedly, cutely, before nibbling on the corner. Harry laughs and thanks Alberto after Louis’ paid him with money.

                Jesy’s is just a short walk from Alberto’s tent and as soon as they turn on the street of Jesy’s tent-

                “Louis!” behind a stand full of clothes pop up four women, all of them beautiful in their own right. There’s a pale woman with bight blue eyes and blondish hair. Next to her are two tanned women with darker hair and eyes, with one shorter and slender then the other one. And the last woman has lovely black skin and wild curly black hair.

                Louis chuckles as they approach the table, “You guys need to stop welcoming me like that. El’s gonna get jealous.”

                “Oh we wouldn’t dare cross Eleanor,” one of the brunettes says with wide eyes, “She made it very clear you were hers.”

                “Yeah I am,” Louis says through a wide grin, “Oh hey. This is Harry and his niece Nora. She needs a new jacket.”

                “Aw, she’s a cute little thing!” The blonde one praises Nora. She looks up to Harry, “I’m Perrie. Nice to meet you.”

                Harry waves shyly, “Nice to meet you. But, um, which one is Jesy?”

                “That’ll be me, hun,” Harry looks over to the taller brunette woman and she smiles at him, “So this little one needs a new coat?”

                Harry nods, “Something sturdy for winter. She’s grown about two inches in about four months.”

                “Hm,” the woman thinks, “Sounds like she’ll need new shoes soon, too. Let me see what I have that might fit her, okay?”

                Harry watches as Jesy heads deeper into the shop. The entire space is nothing but piles and piles of neatly folded clothes. There are signs show age ranges and sizes but to Harry’s still all very confusing.

                “So…” Harry starts out, “What exactly is this place?” He asks over Nora’s humming.

                The other brunette speaks up, “Jesy used to work at a school before, you know,” she says sheepishly, “Anyway, after a few months, she found a lot of parents were in need of clothes for their growing kids. Plus other people needed new clothes or shoes as well. So we all teamed up and found abandoned shops and took what clothes and shoes we could find. We found this empty space ad set up shop here about eight months ago and, well, the rest is history.”

                Harry nods, “Cool. Oh, um. I didn’t catch your name.”

                “I’m Jade,” she tells him with a sweet smile.

                “Did you work at the school with Jesy? Is that how you guys know each other?”

                “No,” the one with curly black hair speaks up, “We all were roommates in college. I’m Leigh-Anne, by the way.”

                “Hi Leigh-Anne,” Harry greets her.

                “I was studying history, and Pez was going for art school,” Leigh-Anne tells him.

                Harry nods and his eyes land on Jade, “What were you studying?”

                “Medicine. I wanted to be a nurse,” Jade rolls here eyes, “I was three months away from graduating before the world decided to go batshit crazy.”

                “Bab-sheet!” Nora cries out and Harry’s eyes widen in horror.

                Perrie laughs as she swats Jade’s arm, “No swearing in front of kids! Those little devils pick up everything you say.”

                “Sorry,” Jade says sheepishly.

                “It’s okay,” Harry says, his eyes cautiously on Nora.

                “Wait,” Perrie says excitedly, “You’re Harry? You’re part of Liam’s clan?”

                Harry smirks as he nods.

                “He never stops talking about you!” Leigh-Anne exclaims and Harry’s dimples sink deeper into his skin as he smiles harder, “Aw, he’s blushing! How cute!”

                “They’re together now, officially,” Louis decides to chime in that moment.

                Harry gives him a hard look as the girls squeal in delight, “Thanks Louis,” he deadpans.

                “No prob!” he winks.

                “What’s all this screaming about?” Jesy comes back in the front of the shop with an arm full of clothes and curiosity on her face.

                Jade tells her, “Evidently, Harry is the guy Liam wouldn’t shut up about every time he’s here!”

                “And they’re together now,” Perrie finishes. Harry notices Perrie locking eyes with Jade and watches as their hands connect, “Love is a beautiful thing.”

                “Sure is,” Jade whispers back to her.

                Harry looks away, not wanting to invade their private moment.

                Jesy smirks at him, “I found a coat for Nora, and a pair of boots and sneakers. The shoes should be a perfect fit. The jacket might be a little too big for her now but she’ll grow into it.”

                Harry nods as he places Nora on the table with the child standing on top of it. The jacket is a wool pea-coat with a faux fur lining on the inside and as Jesy promised, it was a tad too big. But there aren’t any other options and Harry has a feeling that Nora might grown some more over the winter. Louis helps Harry take off Nora’s old jacket and the girl fusses as Harry pulls the new pea-coat on her. The sleeves go past her tiny hands and it falls past her knees but it’s a sturdy coat with a hood, perfect for the snow.

                “We’ll take it,” Harry decides. He reaches for his back pocket for his wallet, “How much do I owe ya?”

                Jesy grins, “We trade here, no cash,” Harry blinks at her and she laughs, “Just give us Nora’s old coat and we’ll be good.”

                Nora whines in Harry’s arms and squirms against his body, “Really?” Harry asks.

                “It’s how it works here,” Jade says, “When kids grow out of their clothes, of adults want new clothes, they trade in their old stuff and get new ones.”

                “It’s genius!” Louis states, “Niall needs new shoes, by the way.”

                “Niall?” Leigh-Anne perks up, “Cute Irish guy with blonde hair and dreamy eyes?”

                Louis blinks at her, “Um…sure?”

                Jesy laughs, “Ignore her. Lee’s gone for Niall.”

                “Ow, Nora!” Harry scolds softly. She keeps kicking his side and she clearly wants to go down, “Fine. But stay with me.”

                He puts Nora down on the ground and holds her small hand in his.

                “What?” Leigh-Anne shrugs, “I like a man with an accent. And Niall has a lovely accent indeed.”

                He grins at Leigh-Anne. Her and Niall? He could see it.

                But what happens next is all too quick.

                Harry hears rushed footsteps behind him that grow louder and quicker, followed by a quick gust of wind that passes with a figure.

                And suddenly Nora’s hand is no longer in his.

                “Nora!” Harry turns to his niece’s cries and sees a man hold her as he runs away. He stands there briefly, stunned, as his stomach drops and his thoughts scramble in his mind, “Nora!”

                Harry runs after the man. His heart beating panicky and his stomach felt sick to the core. Behind him he hears shouting, and moving feet but he’s farer ahead then they are. He’s the one that has to save his niece.

                “Let her go!” Harry yells at the man but he doesn’t stop! He keeps running farer into the city. He sees people as he runs by and shouts, “H-HELP! Help me, please! Stop him! Stop that man!”

                But no one does. No one even tries to help.

                Harry’s feet pick up, spurred on by the helpless and terrified cries of Nora. He can’t let his mind wonder to what this guy might do to Nora if Harry doesn’t save her. Because Harry has to save her, he has to get Nora back, even if it’s the last thing he does.

                The man was only a few feet away now. Nora was facing Harry, her eyes wide and fearful and fuck, Nora’s never looked so scared in her life and Harry hated that look. He could see her tear stained cheeks and her tiny hand reach out to him, her screams louder and desperate and terrifying for Harry.

                _“Protect Nora.”_

Harry’s speed increases.

                _“You’re strong Haz.”_

                When the man is only a foot in front of him, his pace slowed down. Harry reached in his back pocket and he pulled out his knife. He throws the seethe off hurriedly.

                _“Please Haz,” she begged, “Don’t let her see.”_

                Harry brings his arm up, his knife aimed for the man’s neck. Harry quickly looks over and sees that she Nora has her eyes closed, her tiny arms hitting and her legs kicking the man with all her small might.  

                Nora wasn’t looking.

                That’s when Harry strikes.

~*~

                “Harry?”

                Harry blinks, his body trembling like pebbles in an Earthquake. He heaves for breath as he looks up. Louis is cautiously hovering over him. He tries to get closer, but Harry shakes his head and wraps his arms tightly around Nora. She’s still crying, and her clothes are soaked in urine but she’s safe. She’s okay. She’s physically okay and she’s in his arms. She’s safe now.

                “You’re okay, Harry. You and Nora are both okay. No one’s gonna hurt you guys.”

                Harry struggles to breathe. With wide eyes, he turns his head to the stilled body beside him, with his knife sticking out the side of the neck and thick crimson pooling around him.

                “I-Is he-” Harry gulps.

                Louis confirms, “Yes. He’s dead, Harry. He won’t hurt Nora.”

                Harry lets out a sob and squeezes his niece. He rocks back and forth and tries to soothe Nora.

                “It’s okay sweetie,” Harry tells her, “You’re safe now.”

                “M-Momma,” she wails and Harry’s lips quiver.

                “I know,” he tells Nora. He kisses her head countless times, tears falling freely from his eyes, “I know, I know, I know.”

                Louis somehow convinces Harry to stand up. He holds Harry upright the entire way back home; Harry doesn’t loosen his grip on Nora at all. He feels a bit at ease once the city is far behind them but everything around him is hazy and unclear. He can hear Louis try to talk to him but his voice sounds far away. Nora’s sleeping in his arms, and she’s safe.

                It’s not until they’re back in the familiar yard that Harry’s hearing kicks back in and his sight is sharp once more.

                “What happened?” Harry looks up and sees Niall running toward them. Niall stops when his in front of them, “Shit, H.”

                Harry shakes his head, “I-I-”

                “Some asshole perv tried to take Nora,” Louis says, voice fuming. Harry feels his stomach lurch. Those images are fresh in his mind and they keep replaying over and over again. Harry doesn’t think these images will ever stop. 

                “What?!” Harry looks up and lets out a sob as Liam comes up to them. He looks at Harry softly before turning to Louis and shoving him, “You were supposed to take care of them!”

                Louis defends himself, “I’m sorry. Harry just put Nora down for a second. He was still holding her hand and then this guy just-”

                Harry makes a pained sound, and curls Nora into his chest.

                “I’ve heard of, like, in the city, that there are…those kind of people running around-”

                “Shut up Niall!” Liam tells him. He’s suddenly in front of Harry, his hands cupping Harry’s ears, “Harry? Love, it’s okay. Let me take Nora, everything will be okay.”

                Liam reaches for Nora; Harry turns his body away and shakes his head feverishly.

                “Haz, you’re safe now. Nora’s safe here. I promise, I won’t let anything happen to her,” Liam tries to assure him but it’s fruitless. Harry can’t believe him, he can’t trust anyone.

                Harry looks up and Gemma’s standing on the porch behind them. He lets out a sob and goes to her, his legs buckling as he all but runs to his sister.

                “Gems,” he heaves, openly weeping, “I-I’m so sorry Gems! I-I didn’t mean to-I just. I-I thought it was safe.”

                Louis places a hand on Harry’s back, “Harry…that’s not-”

                “I got her back though,” Harry tries to explain, “T-That man tried to run off b-but I was faster, Gem. I-I got to him and I took care of him before he could hurt N-Nora! I-” Harry sobs, “I-I should’ve done a better job Gemma! Y-You trusted me with Nora and-”

                “Haz,” Liam tries to explain, “Sweetheart, it’s not-”         

                “It’s okay, Harry,” Gemma says, her voice timid. She reaches out for Harry and places her hand on his shoulder. It doesn’t feel like Gemma’s touch, even though Harry sees it’s his sister, “I-I believe you Harry. You’re so good at keeping Nora safe-”

                Harry shakes his head, “No I’m not-”

                “You are though,” Gemma insists, “You’re the best uncle, Harry. You feed Nora, take care of all her basic needs, and you always keep Nora safe, Harry. Someone tried to hurt her but you got her back. You wouldn’t let anyone hurt Nora, would you Harry?”

                Harry adamantly shakes his head.

                “You did a good job Harry,” Gemma tells him, “But Nora’s sleeping. She really should be sleeping in her bed. And you’ve had a long day Harry. You need your rest too. Let me have her, Harry.”

                Hesitantly, Harry hands over Nora carefully to Gemma. Nora looks so peaceful in her mother’s arms and Harry’s lips wobble as he leans down and plants a small kiss on her forehead.

                When he looks up, Eleanor’s the one holding Nora. She looks at him with a pitiful look before turning back into the house.

                But…Gemma’s gone? How can that be? Harry just saw her, he handed Nora to _Gemma_ not Eleanor.

                “Harry?” Liam asks, his hand steady on his lower back, “Are you okay?”

                It takes not even five second after Liam asks him this that Harry collapses in Liam’s arms.

~~~

                _Harry didn’t really notice anything wrong with Gemma._

_She was more tired, sure, but Harry assumed it was because they had been travelling as a group, desperate to find a new home. Most of the homes in the area were abandoned, but they were also mostly burnt or where too small for all of them. Gemma insisted on taking more breaks and couldn’t hold anything because she claimed her joints where sore. Thankfully Niall stepped up and helped carry their luggage as well as his own, and Harry held Nora._

_Harry would always look back at his sister, who began sweating a day later and her walk grew more sluggish._

_But she kept insisting she was fine._

_He shouldn’t have believed her._

_Harry was towards the pack of the pack, right in front of Gemma, when he felt his father’s hand gun being pulled from his back pocket._

_He turned around, and saw Gemma, his beloved older sister, holding their family gun to her own head._

_“Gemma?” Harry asked brokenly. He moved towards her, “Wha-”_

_“Don’t come any closer,” Gemma told him calmly, her lips shaking. She looked at the rest of the group, “Don’t any of you come close to me.”_

_Harry shook his head, “Why?”_

_Gemma shook as she removed the gun from her head. She took her sleeve and lifted it up, revealing a pale red, scaly rash on her skin. Everyone else gasped at the sight of it._

_And Harry felt the world tumble around him._

_“G-Gems?” He shook his head, and Nora grew fussy in his arms, “N-No.”_

_Gemma placed the gun back to the side of her skull, tears pouring down her cheek._

_Harry moved towards his sister._

_An arm pulled him back._

_“Harry-”_

_“Let go Liam!” Harry shouted._

_Gemma calmly stated, “Hold him back, Liam.” Harry turned to his sister with horror on his eyes._

_“N-No Gems, you can’t-you’re going to be okay.”_

_Gemma shook her head, “You and I both know how this ends, Harry. A-At first I thought-maybe I was having some sort of heat stroke because of the weather. But then, I started feeling weaker and this rash popped up last night on my arm and-” a sob leaves her lips and her body trembled and she spoke, “I-I can’t die like that Harry. You’ve heard how horrible this illness is. I-I can’t go like that.”_

_“Gemma,” Harry chocked out, “Please-please don’t do this. I-I can’t lose you too.”_

_His sister smiled weakly at him, “Everything will be fine Harry. N-Nora-” a shuddery breath left Gemma and she sniffled, “Protect Nora, Harry. Please. Tell her one day that I’m s-sorry I wasn’t strong enough but. You’re strong Haz. You got this. You can do this Harry-you, y-you need to do this without me.”_

_“Gems-” Harry reached for his sister, tears pouring freely from his eyes. But Liam held him back._

_Gemma’s hand curled tightly around the gun._

_“I love you so fucking much,” Gemma said calmly, “You were the best brother. I-I wish you didn’t have to go through this, Haz.”_

_“I love you Gem,” Harry wailed. He struggled in Liam’s grasp, “Don’t do this, please.”_

_Gemma nodded towards her daughter in Harry’s hand, and spoke her final words._

_“Please Haz,” she begged, “Don’t let her see.”_

_Harry didn’t remember hearing the sound of the gun go off. He didn’t remember hearing anything, not even his own sobs._

_He remembered falling to the ground in anguish just as Gemma fell too, his body numbed as he stared at his sister in shock._

_Harry remembered feeling Liam’s arms wrapped around him from behind and his voice in his ear telling him how sorry he was._

_Harry remembered Nora, pressed firmly to his chest, crying hysterically._

_Harry remembered wishing he was the one with the bullet in his brains._

~~~

                It had been days; Harry kept track with the rise and fall of the sun.

                But he couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed.

                All of them have check in on Harry several times. Eleanor tried to get him to eat something; Harry couldn’t manage more the small bites. Niall tried to get Harry to sing also with him to a Simon & Garfunkel he played on his guitar; Harry barely brings himself to hum. Louis tried telling him that everything was okay, and he even brought in Nora to show him.

                Harry almost threw up at the words ‘everything was okay.’

                It’s late in the afternoon when Liam slips into Harry’s room. Harry knows it’s him, because Liam’s the only one that bothers to come into the room with as little noise as possible. Another tall tale sign is when Liam climbs into bed behind Harry. He tucks his chin on Harry’s shoulder and his securing arm wraps around Harry’s torso.

                Liam pulls Harry into his chest, and finally, for the first time in days, Harry feels something other then self hatred.

                “Am I a monster?” Harry asks weakly.

                “Not even in the slightest,” Liam tells him immediately.

                Harry’s lip wobbles, “I promised G-Gems I’d keep Nora safe.”

                Liam turns Harry around gently. Harry moves like a sleepy child, letting Liam completely take over his dead weight body. He can’t look at Liam, even when they’re laying on a small bed with only inches between them. Harry can’t look at Liam, he just can’t and he doesn’t understand how Liam can stomach looking at him either.

                Harry sighs weakly as Liam’s hand brushes over his hair, pushing the long strands out of his eyes.

                “You did keep Nora safe, Haz,” Liam insists quietly, “You protected her.”

                Harry shook his head, tears stinging his eyes, “H-He took her away from me.”

                “And you got her back,” Liam reminds him, “She’s safe now.”

                Tears leave Harry’s eyes, “I-I killed another man,” and fuck-it makes him feel sick to say it.

                “Not an innocent one,” Liam quickly defends, “He was going to hurt Nora. He was going to do terrible things to her. But you stopped him. That’s all you did.”

                Harry swallows thickly, “D-Does she remember any of it?”

                “No,” Liam tells him. A chuckle leaves his lips, “She’s playing with Louis and Eleanor right now. I think they’re making flower crowns.”

                Harry’s lips trembles and he looks up at Liam finally, “I-I can’t lose her too Liam-I can’t! S-She’s all I have-she’s the only family I got and I. I can’t lose her!”

                Liam wipes the tears off of Harry’s cheeks. He fiercely promises, “You won’t lose Nora, H. I’ll never let that happen, okay?”

                Harry sniffles and nods feebly, believing him wholly.

                “I should’ve been with you,” Liam whispers as he leans in. He kisses Harry’s cheek tenderly, taking Harry by surprise and sending ripple affects inside of. He sucks in a tiny breath as Liam peppers tiny kisses closer towards his lips before Liam pulls back a little. He looks directly into Harry eyes, and cups Harry’s face softly, “You guys are my family and I’ll keep you guys safe. I promise-you’re safe. From now on, you’ll always be safe.”

                Harry moves forward and kisses Liam, hard. It revives him; everything else melts away except Liam. And Harry doesn’t understand how he survived so long without kissing Liam like this. It’s something Harry always wanted but he felt like he couldn’t have Liam like this, not in this world. But Liam’s here now, caressing his face and kissing him. Liam’s other hand pulls Harry in closer, making Harry whine. He hates that he’s hard already. He blames it

                “Touch me,” Harry begs some time later once they’ve parted, voice raspy and breathless.

                Liam smirks and dips back in for another quick peck, “Like this?” he asks playfully as his fingers brush over Harry’s cheek. Harry breathes out a little laugh, the first one that has escaped his lips in days.

                _“Nooo,”_ Harry whines softly, “You know what I mean, Liam.”

                Harry drags his hand farther down Liam’s torso.

                Liam’s hand stops him.

                “Are you sure?” Liam asks quietly, “Like really, really sure?”

                Harry nibbles his lip as he nods, “I need to, just,” he smiles wistfully at Liam, “Can we pretend that all this shit never happened? Can we just be Harry and Liam in a normal world for once, please?” 

                Liam smiles, “Yeah, we can do that,” he gives Harry a tiny kiss before getting up from the bed, with a promise that he’ll return.

                When he does, Harry laughs so hard it hurts to breathe.

                “The Hell is that?!” he snorts, “A lifetime supply of lotion?”

                Liam blinks at him before cracking a smile, “The guy I was trading with threw that in my haul a few months back.” Liam lowers the large jug of hand lotion to the floor next to Harry’s bed. Liam traps Harry’s body with his knees on either side of Harry’s hips. He smiles fondly down at Harry, “I’ll try to find lube later on. For now, this will have to do.”

                Harry nods as his hands reach up for Liam’s belt buckle.

                It’s slow and all new to them. They kiss and their hands freely explore their bodies. Liam’s so sweet, and takes time to kiss every newly exposed inch of skin on Harry’s body. Harry loves it, loves the way that Liam can easily take him away from all. He loves how he turns into a puddle under Liam’s touch. He loves the way that when he’s with Liam like this, touching his golden skin and kissing his glorious lips, the world doesn’t seem such a horrible place anymore.

                When Liam slowly slips in a slick finger into him, Harry’s trembling with anticipation. He whines at the burning stretch of it and grasps onto Liam’s other hand to collect himself again. It’s been years-literally years since he’s been touched like this. And with the world going to shit and all and having a toddler dependent on him, Harry’s only been able to jerk himself off a couple times a month, at best.

                But Liam is patient, stopping once his finger is all the way in. He traces his nose along Harry’s collarbones and whispers praises and undeserved compliments. That eases Harry tremendously, and he gives Liam the okay to move his finger. He starts out cautiously, but about a while the pain has diminished and Harry’s begging for another one, and then later on he whines for a third finger from Liam. Liam opens him up gingerly, taking his time to kiss Harry every five seconds and to reassure him that he’s okay.

                Though, with Liam surrounding him and touching his body, Harry’s more then okay.

                Liam eases his cock into Harry gently, and Harry exhales a breath he had been holding in for what felt like ages.

                “You good?” Liam asks, his hips grinding slightly into Harry.

                Harry nods feebly and wraps his arms around Liam’s torso, “I’m fine. You can, fuck-move please?” Liam scoffs fondly and leans down to capture Harry’s lips for a light kiss before he moves back and fucks back into Harry with a bit more force that takes Harry’s breath away.

                Harry attaches himself to Liam like a koala to a tree. Liam fucks into him, each thrust growing in intensity and all Harry can do his cling to Liam.

                “You feel so-fuck H. You feel so good.” Liam babbles on. He moves his arms under Harry’s and cups the back of Harry’s shoulders. Harry gasps when Liam pulls him in against his chest just as his hips move faster, cocooning him in his arms. Harry can’t do anything except mouth at Liam’s birthmark that Harry’s eyed for years and now he can finally kiss it. Liam grunts against Harry’s ear as his thrusts gain momentum.

                Time passes, Liam’s hips pump in and out of Harry in perfect rhythm and Harry feels like his floating, steadily losing reality and slipping into ecstasy. When Liam hits his prostate, Harry whines out an airy ‘ _yes’_ and tightly wraps his legs around Liam. Liam aims for it with every thrust that follows and Harry chants his hips in time to meet Liam’s. Harry mumbles incoherently against Liam’s lips, their sweat lingers on his lips as his stomach begins to coil tightly as pops of lights flash behind his eyes.

                “ ‘m close,” Harry says weakly, “Fuck.”

                Liam nuzzles against Harry’s neck. Harry gasps as Liam wraps his hand around his painfully stiff cock and his gut tightens more, “Me too. Come on, H. Come.”

                Less then a dozen sporadic thrusts later, Harry comes with his eyes closed and a low whine into Liam’s lips. He holds onto Liam for dear life as Liam chases his own high, his hips growing slower and slower until he stops altogether. Harry feels him shake and curse before he feels Liam come inside him and the sensation makes him tremble.

                Afterwards, Harry’s clinging to Liam with the bedsheet hanging loose around their hips. Harry’s spent, but feels a sense of bliss and contentment that he never thought he’d feel again. Liam grows sleepy and cross eyed, his chest still heaving. Harry smirks into Liam’s pec and giggles when Liam frowns at him.

                “You wore me out, H,” Liam says dazedly, breathlessly. He grins dopily, “Fuck, that was good.”

                Harry pokes his side, “Someone’s proud of himself.” Liam shifts around so he’s facing Harry. His face grows serious as his finger gently trace Harry’s arm.

                “You enjoyed it, yeah? I mean,” Liam winces slightly, “You don’t, like, regret it?”

                “God no,” Harry breathes out. He leans in and kisses Liam’s lips softly, but Liam barely response. Harry sighs as he draws back, his hand reaching up to cup Liam’s face, “Li, I think I wanted you the second we met.”

                Liam smiles shyly, “Really?” Harry nods.

                “Yeah,” he whispers and feels himself blushing, “But like, it never felt right to tell you? Ya know, like there were other more important things to worry about.”

                “Like Nora,” Liam says instantly. Harry gives a weary smile.

                “And surviving in general as well.”

                Liam smirks and whispers, “For the record, when I first saw you I thought you were fucking gorgeous.”

                Harry blushes, “You did?”

                “Of course I did,” Liam response easily, “You’re beautiful H.”

                Harry’s heart flutters in his chest.

                “We wasted nearly two years of admiring each other from a distance,” Harry states, earning a chuckle from Liam.

                “Looks like it,” he comments before taking Harry’s hand into his own. Harry looks up at Liam’s soft eyes, “But we won’t waste anymore time, yeah?”

                Harry nods and fondly smile, “Yeah.”

                Just then, the sound of Nora’s laughter from downstairs travels up to the bedroom. Harry sits up and grins.

                “I need to see Nora now,” Harry tells Liam, “I haven’t seen her in days and I miss her.”

                Liam leans up and kisses Harry’s cheek, “Let’s go, then.”

~~~

                _Harry mindlessly followed the rest of the group for days before they found an abandoned house not too far from the city. It was off the road, and looked ransacked, but it was enough for them. Harry held Nora in his arms as Liam and Louis stood o the front porch and assigned duties and positions. They also assigned rooms as well and thankfully, they gave Harry a room with two small beds._

_Once in their new room, Harry places Nora down for a nap on one of the beds._

_Harry plopped himself down on the other bed, covered his body under the blankets, and sobbed quietly until he fell asleep._

_It had been almost two weeks, but he still couldn’t believe that Gemma was gone._

_Harry awoke to Nora crying. He instantly rushed to her bed and picked her up in his arms, his small niece curled herself to her shoulder. He turned around and Liam was standing in the doorway, with Eleanor beside him. Liam stared at him blankly and Harry darted his eyes to Eleanor._

_Harry can’t stand looking at Liam himself._

_“Nora’s hungry,” Harry said._

_Eleanor smiled sweetly at her, “Dinner’s ready. Enough for everyone, of course.”_

_Harry shook his head, “I’m not hungry, but thanks,” he moved to the door but Eleanor walked towards him._

_“I’ll take her,” Eleanor offered, “You still look tired. I’ll save food for you and you’ll eat later.”_

_Harry hesitated before handing Nora over to her. Eleanor smiled down at the girl before turning and leaving the room, and suddenly it was just Liam and Harry. Harry locked his gaze down to the floor, and felt Liam staring at him._

_“Harry,” Liam said finally and Harry couldn’t take it anymore._

_“You knew she was going to do that, didn’t you?” Harry picked his head up, fresh tears formed in his eyes, “You knew m-my sister was going to-to do that, didn’t you?”_

_Liam stayed silent, and Harry couldn’t stand it._

_“It makes sense,” Harry went on, “Everyone else seemed surprised by it. They didn’t know she was sick. But you-you didn’t even flinch. She-Gems talked to you and gave you orders as if you guys planned this out beforehand.”_

_Liam remained quiet, the silence mocked Harry._

_He knew he was right._

_“Why?” Harry whispered brokenly, “W-Why didn’t you tell me?”_

_Liam closed his eyes, and let out a pained sigh, “Because you would try to stop her and Gemma didn’t want that.”_

_“Of course I would’ve stopped her!” Harry spat out, tears falling freely from his eyes, “M-maybe she didn’t have that disease. Maybe it was just poison ivy.”_

_Liam shook his head, “Harry, you know it was that disease.”_

_“I could’ve healed her,” Harry insisted brokenly. Liam looked at him with such pity, it angered Harry, “I know I could have.”_

_“No you couldn’t Harry,” Liam told him, “Even the world’s best doctors with the best resources have no idea how to cure it.”_

_Harry let out a sob, his body trembling, “But why did she do it, Liam? Why?” He sank to the floor on his knees and wept openly, loudly._

_Within seconds, Liam was on the ground too, his hand tentatively on Harry’s shoulder._

_“She would’ve suffered, Harry,” Liam reminded him, “She would have suffered a lot, more then any human being deserves. She didn’t-fuck, Harry. She didn’t want you and Nora to see her like that. She didn’t want any of us to get sick.”_

_Harry sobbed, “It doesn’t make it easier.”_

_“I know, Harry,” Liam assured him, his own voice thick and heavy._

_“How could she do that to Nora?” Harry heaved, “How could s-she do that to-to-”_

_“To you?” Liam finished for him. Harry screwed his eyes and cried harder. Liam sighed and pulls him into his arms._

_“I-I don’t have anyone left,” Harry wheezed, “How could she leave me?”_

_“You have Nora,” Liam said softly and Harry could sense there was a sad smile on his lips, “She’s made from Gemma, it’s the perfect gift she could’ve left you with Harry. She knew, she knew she wasn’t going to make it Harry. But she wanted to give you and Nora the chance of living. She knew that you’d take care of Nora and would do a great job at it.”_

_“I can’t do it, Li,” Harry wailed, “I can’t.”_

_“You can, and you already have been Harry,” Liam told him earnestly, “You’re doing such a good job at raising Nora. And you’re not alone in this Harry-you have us.”_

_Harry sniffled and pulled away from Liam’s chest and shook his head, “I can’t do that to you guys. You’ll get sick of us and having to worry about a kid, as well as yourselves.”_

_“Harry,” Liam sighed softly, “Right now, Eleanor, Louis and the rest to of our group are watching after Nora and making sure she’s safe.”_

_Harry frowned, “Stan hates Nora though.” It was true, Harry heard Stan say he didn’t like having a baby to look after and felt it made the group weaker. Everyone else shot him down, but it still made Harry feel uncomfortable knowing Stan’s true feelings._

_“Stan’s an ass,” Liam was quick to remind him. Harry smirked, “But even he wouldn’t let anyone hurt any of us, and that includes you and Nora.”_

_Harry pondered this, his gaze dropping to the ground._

_“Gemma told me she might have been getting sick the night before she, um, took her own life,” Liam tried to explain. Harry winced, “She made sure we were at a distance so I wouldn’t get sick. She told me she was going to walk towards the back of the pack the next day and when you weren’t looking, she was going take your gun and-”_

_Liam stopped and gulped, “She made me swear that I’d take care of you, that we would take care of you and Nora. She made me promise that I’d protect you and Nora, and keep you guys safe.”_

_Harry gasped quietly as he felt Liam kiss his forehead. The sweet gesture made Harry’s stomach flutter madly. He’d admire Liam from a distance for so long, maybe even the first second they met. And perhaps the kiss meant nothing. Maybe Liam just pitied him. But then Liam held Harry’s face in his hands, and his eyes were firm and full of fondness too._

_“I intend to do everything I can to keep you safe Harry. You and Nora will be safe with me, I’ll never let anything happen to you guys,” He smirked down at him, “You’ll always have a home in me, Harry. And there’s plenty of space for Nora too.”_

_Harry’s face crumbled and he hugged Liam impossible tight. He mumbled thousands of ‘thank yous’ into Liam’s chest, as the heaviness lifted from his shoulders. At some point, Harry grew tired again, his voice went raspy and his body became heavier with sleep. He was barely conscious as Liam picked him up like a new bride and carried him back to his bed._

_The last thing Harry felt was Liam’s lips on his forehead again, with Liam’s promises being recited again as Harry drifted soundly to sleep._

_For the first time in days, maybe even months, Harry fell asleep with a tiny smile on his face._

~~~ 

                Two weeks later, it’s October. Most of the trees around the house have turned their colors and some have fallen to the ground. Liam, bless him, another blanket for Harry’s bed, which Liam has been sleeping in most nights with Harry now. Harry likes having him there, likes having the extra warmth of security of his body.

                But one morning, after a blissful slumber, Harry finds Eleanor practicing her shots at on a tree outside. Harry frowns at this; Eleanor only shoots her bow and arrow when there’s something bothering her. He leaves Liam and Nora in the kitchen with a kiss on both of their cheeks and heads outside.

                “Eleanor?” Harry calls out. She looks back at him, face blank and stoic as she reaches for another arrow from the satchel on her back.

                “Morning,” Eleanor says flatly as she loads the arrow to her bow. She raises it, and aims at the tree.

                Harry stops and looks around, “Where’s Louis?”

                Eleanor realizes the string at the end of Harry’s question. The arrow shot through the air and landed on the middle of the tree, about four feet from the ground. The sound of the collision echoes off the woods around them and Harry squints his eyes.

                Eleanor stands up straight and looks at Harry, “He’s gone.”

                Harry’s certain he feels his soul deflate.

                “What?”

                Eleanor shrugs before looking away, “Louis’ gone. I woke up hours ago and he wasn’t-he wasn’t in bed with me. I looked in all the rooms, I came out here and looked for him but-” Eleanor sighs heavily and pulls around arrow out, “Louis left.”

                “Is all of his stuff still here?” Harry asks, confusion clear on his face.

                “Most of it, yeah. He just took his wallet and his gun.”

                Harry shakes his head, “None of this makes any sense, El. I don’t think Louis, like left-left.”

                Eleanor sniffles and says flatly, “Well, he did. So get used to it.” 

                “He wouldn’t leave without you,” Harry says adamantly.

                Eleanor pauses, and lowers her bow. She moves her head towards Harry just enough so he can see the outline of her jaw and part of her eye but not enough to see her whole face.

                “I told him I loved him.”

                Harry hates how ashamed Eleanor sounds admitting that.

                “What?” Harry asks, a little but of amusement in his voice, “But you and Louis have been together for a long time. You just told him you loved him?”

                Eleanor scoffs and turns to face him full on. Harry can finally see her eyes are red, but there’s a harshness to her face as well.

                “No, we didn’t tell each other that, Harry,” she says sarcastically, “Maybe you forgot but we’re living in Hell basically. People are dying and stealing and starving and killing each other left and right. I was mainly focused on surviving, and that’s all-”  

                Eleanor looks down at her bow, “You know my dad somehow sent this to me in the mail?”

                Harry shook his head. Eleanor chuckles.

                “Yeah, well. I lived in Michigan as a kid, and my dad always wanted a boy so he could take him hunting. It’s like a big thing in Michigan, businesses close down for the first weekend of hunting season and everyone heads North to kill deer.

                “One day, when I was ten or so, my dad was packing for his hunting trip and I told him I wanted to come. For some reason he let me come with him, but he didn’t let me use a gun, obviously. He gave me a small bow with a few arrows to start off with and I shot my first rabbit that day.”

                Harry watches as Eleanor’s smile drops, “I left for college in Rochester, New York. When everything started…turning to shit, my dad mailed me my bow and arrow because he was scared for me,” she chuckles sadly, “I have no idea how my dad did it. The postal service didn’t allow you to send liquids but he somehow sent me my bow and arrow through the mail.

                “And then the world went crazy and I thought,” Eleanor gulps, “I’m pretty sure my dad’s alive. He’s a hunter and his friends would’ve taken care of him. I thought about traveling back but then,” her lips betray her with a smile.

                “You met Louis?” Harry supplies.

                “Yeah,” Eleanor breathes out, “Him and Liam found me while I tried to make it to the city. I was planning to just get supplies and head back to Michigan but,” Eleanor casts her eyes down and hides her smiles so well that Harry barely sees it, “Louis won me over. He made me laugh, despite everything, and I felt safe and protected. Being with him only for a little while…” Eleanor frowns, “The idea of suddenly leaving Louis felt so wrong.”

                “El,” Harry sighs out happily. She’s normally so private about her relationship with Louis.

                Eleanor’s face hardens, though, in a split second, “But he’s gone now. Just like Stan, Louis left in the middle of the night and we won’t see him again.”

                “That’s not-” Harry shakes his head, “None of this makes any sense.”

                Eleanor shrugs, “Makes perfect sense. I love Louis. I told him I did, but he doesn’t feel the same way. So he left.”

                “He wouldn’t do that, El,” Harry insists, “Louis wouldn’t leave us-he wouldn’t leave _you_ -”

                “Well he did!” Eleanor says, louder then she anticipated. Harry watches her heave for air and her face breaks a little. That look of doubt and devastation on her face crushes Harry.

                “El’s-”

                “I’m gonna go hunting,” Eleanor sniffles and straightens her stance, and it’s like Harry can see a brick wall being rebuilt on her face, “I should be back by mid afternoon, sooner if I’m luckier.”

                Eleanor chuckles feebly as she makes her way to the tree. She pulls off her arrows from the thin tree bark and puts them back in her satchel.

                “You shouldn’t go hunting alone,” Harry tells her.

                Eleanor throws a look back at him, one that is emotionless.        

                “Looks like I’ll have to get use to it, H.”

~*~

                Eleanor ends up being wrong.

                “Guys!” Harry stops mixing Nora’s oatmeal when Niall rushes into the kitchen. Eleanor’s at the head of the table, sharpening the tip of one of her arrows. She casually looks up at Niall, and Harry turns to see Niall grinning from ear to ear with he’s chest heaving for air.

                “I saw him coming up the road, and I-” Niall beams, “El, Louis’ back.”

                Harry looks at Liam with excitement in his eyes.

                Nora babbles Louis’ name happily.

                And Eleanor…well.

                “Oh?” she hums flatly before turning back to her work, “Well, it’s a good thing we didn’t sell all his shit after all.”

                “Eleanor!” Harry scolds, his hands covering Nora’s ears, “What is wrong with you?”

                “Yeah, Els,” Niall chimes in, “Lou’s back! Why are you not happy?”

                Eleanor shrugs her shoulders as flakes of wood peel off from her arrow head.

                “How can you guys forget that he left us three days ago without telling any of us in the first place?”

                And…Harry doesn’t know what to say to that.

                “Hey guys.”

                Harry sees the way Eleanor’s body flinches just slightly when Louis’ voice pops up from nowhere. But she remains determined; her focus not on Louis. Harry smiles to Louis. He looks good, at least. There’s dirt on his hands and his stubble is a bit over grown. There’s a box in his hands too, and Harry is curious to discover what’s in it.

                “Lou!” Niall barrels into Louis for a hug. But Louis’ eyes are on Eleanor, and Harry doesn’t miss the slight frown on his lips, “Where’ve you been man? We’ve missed you like crazy!”

                Louis pulls away, his eyes still on Eleanor, “I’ll explain later,” he says. He walks to a counter and places the box on it. He turns to Eleanor and smiles down at her as he places a hand on her shoulder, “Hey El.”

                Eleanor eyes the point of her arrow head, “Hello Louis.”

                Harry winces at her tone and can only imagine what Louis’ thinking.

                “I need to talk to you, babe,” Louis tells her.

                Eleanor shakes her head, “I don’t feel like talking to someone who left me without telling me beforehand.”

                Harry wishes he was anywhere else but in the same room as them.

                Louis sighs, “Eleanor-”

                “Three days, Louis,” Eleanor finally picks her head up and scowls at him. Harry knows this is gonna get ugly, “For three days I couldn’t sleep because I thought you left me. I was worried sick for you somehow, even though I hate you so much for leaving us! You left without a note and I thought I’d never see you again! And now you just Waltz back in here with a big grin and expect everything to be okay?!” Eleanor scoffs and shakes her head, “I wish I never met you, Louis Tomlinson.”

                The room turns silent, even Nora’s grown quiet.

                And then.

                “Okay,” Louis says determinedly. He pulls Eleanor out of the chair by the strap of her tank top.

                “Get your hands off-”

                Louis ignores Eleanor’s protests and drags her outside through the back door. The door slams and Harry can still hear Eleanor screaming at Louis from outside, her shouts echoing off the trees. Harry, Liam and Niall all look at each for a brief second before clambering over to the window over the useless sink.

                Harry sees through the window Louis bringing Eleanor over to the tree she shoots for practice on. Eleanor’s flaying her arms around and cursing Louis’ name. Harry watches as Louis finally lets her go, and notices Eleanor looking at Louis with an expression made up of anger and confusion.

                It’s then that Louis sinks to the ground on one knee before Eleanor.

                Harry gasps and sees Eleanor’s shocked face briefly before the old tattered curtains are pulled over the window.

                “Come on guys,” Liam’s voice of reason says. Liam has a sly grin on his face, “Let’s give ‘em some privacy.”

                Harry turns to him, a disbelieving smile on his lips, “You-you knew he was gonna do this?” Liam shrugs, a coy look on his face.

                “I had an idea.”

                Harry playfully shoves his chest, “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

                “Like I said, I just had inkling and I didn’t want to jinx anything,” Liam defends himself. He pulls in Harry by his hips and kisses his cheek, “Looks like we’ll have a wedding.”

                Harry inhales Liam scent before his eyes dart to the box Louis brought back with him from wherever he was before. He smiles into Liam’s chest at the items inside it.

  * A box of vanilla cake mix
  * A can of vanilla icing
  * And a black tie



                Yes, Harry agrees, internally.

                They were going to have a wedding.

~~~

                “Are you sure these are enough flowers?” Liam says sarcastically.

                Harry scoffs as he picks up a bucket overflowing with flowers in both hands, “It’s a wedding! Weddings are supposed to be filled with flowers.” 

                “True,” Liam agrees.

                Louis had revealed to everyone, after telling Eleanor first, that he left to find Eleanor a ring. Knowing that Eleanor loved him as much as he loved her, Louis couldn’t wait another minute. In his rush, he forgot to tell anyone that he was leaving, and didn’t realize this until he was on his way to another city to find a ring for Eleanor.

                “Eleanor’s ring is gorgeous,” Harry sighs dreamily, “Opal is so sparkly. I can’t believe Louis was able to find it.”

                Liam scoffs, “I can’t believe Lou asked Niall to officiate the wedding.”

                “Aw,” Harry coos, his elbow lightly hitting Liam, “Is someone still upset?”

                “It was just surprising, is all,” Liam insists.

                “But you’re the best man,” Harry reminds him.

                Liam laughs, “And you’re the maid of honor.”

                “It’s not maid of honor!” Harry says adamantly, “It’s _man_ of honor.”

                “Sure.”

                The weather is nice, perfect for a wedding. It’s still pretty warm for October, and non-threating grey and purple clouds are high in the sky. Harry and Liam picked all the flowers left that hadn’t died off yet, flowers of every color, shape and size.

                “You ever wanted a wedding?”

                Harry stops walking at Liam’s question.

                “What?”

                Liam shrugs, “Nothing, it’s just. You seem more excited about this wedding then El is.”

                Harry scoffs.

                “That’s saying a lot.”

                “Well?” Liam prompts. He has the cutest little expression on his face. His bushy eyebrows squished together. His lips smiled bemusedly and his eyes full of anticipation.

                “I dunno,” Harry says eventually, “Like, I guess I never thought I’d meet a guy that would want to marry me.”

                “That’s silly,” Liam says, “I’d marry you.”

                Harry’s heart flutters in his chest.

                “You would?” he asks.

                “…Um. I mean,” Liam says unsurely, “…Yeah? But like only if you wanted to, of course. And like, not any time soon obviously but. Yeah, I would. In a heartbeat.”

                “In a heartbeat?” Harry repeats, a dopey smile on his lips.

                Liam grins, “Less then a heartbeat, even.”

                Harry grins slyly and crowds Liam’s space. His eyes linger on Liam’s plump lips, “How much tie to you figure we have before we need to get back home?” Liam frowns adorably in confusion.

                “I dunno? Half hour. Maybe an hour at most. Why?”

                Harry drops his buckets of flowers. He lightly pushes Liam up against a tree, drawing a shocked laugh out of Liam. He kisses Liam eagerly, his hands moved under Liam’s shirt and freely touches the warm skin there. Harry chuckles as he hears two thuds from something hitting the ground and Harry knows its Liam’s buckets of flowers. Because the next second, Liam’s hands are in Harry’s hair, pulling on the long strands of curls. Harry groans against his lips.

                “God, I love your hair,” Liam moans out Harry’s moved on and starts kissing Liam’s birthmark repeatedly.

                “Good,” Harry tells him with a sly smirk, “Because I’m gonna blow ya, and you can tug on my hair all you want as you fuck my throat.”

                It’s comical, Liam’s reaction. Liam’s jaw drops and his eyes widen ad he looks so adorable and turned on as well. Harry just wants to eat him up.

                “You’re gonna blow me?” he asks in awe. Harry nods sternly.

                “And you’re gonna like it, mister,” he jabs playfully at Liam’s chest before he sinks to his knees.

                Liam huffs out, “Oh I’ll love it, no doubt.”

                It’s later on, when Harry’s throat is stretched out my Liam’s cock and his hand is massaging Liam’s balls, that Liam’s body slides down the tree just a little bit from the pleasure.

                “Ah,” Liam groans out in pain. Harry stops and pulls back. He looks up to Liam and sees him looking at the back of his left arm. Next to it, there’s a small stub of a branch that’s sticking out of the tree, and Harry thinks he sees blood on it.

                He frowns up at Liam, “You okay?”

                Liam nods quickly, “Yeah, it’s just a scratch,” he says casually. He focuses back down and Harry and grins, his fingers slipping back into Harry’s hair and tugs on Harry’s head until his mouth is back on his cock.

                “Now, where were we again?”

~~~

                “No Nors,” Harry groans softly as he picks up the rainbow colored petals off the ground. He places them back in the small metal bucket and hand sit back to Nora, “You don’t dump these yet. You drop the petals when you walk to Louis, okay?”

                Nora grins, “Lou Lou,” she beams. Harry scoffs and adjusts her blue pea coat. She’s wearing faded her nicest blue jeans and a bright pink top. Harry put her thin, blonde hair in short braids that are laced with baby breathe flowers and lilacs. She looks beyond cute, and Harry wishes he had a camera.

                “Yes, so remember. You’ll walk to Louis and put the flowers on the ground as you go okay?” Harry’s certain the nod he gets from Nora is one out of boredom but Harry still accepts it.

                “Hey Harry!”

                Harry stands up and looks towards the makeshift alter they made. Between two trees, Niall stands behind Louis and Liam as he tunes his guitar. Liam’s working on Louis’ black tie. Louis looks good as a groom. He’s wearing a white shirt that’s tucked into his black skinny jeans and his black leather jacket, with a small sprig of lilac tucked in the upper front pocket over his heart. Louis’ hair is causally swept to the side and his cheeks are freshly shaved.

                He looks oddly calm as Liam fiddles with Louis’ tie in frustration. Sure Louis’ nice but Liam looks handsomer in Harry’s eyes. He’s wearing a brown lightweight coat over a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans. Liam’s hair is slightly wet, and parted to the side, and there’s a slight shadow of stubble on his cheeks even though he shaved earlier in the day. Harry can’t help but grin at him as he sighs aggregately.

                “Nors will be fine. Whatever she does, it’ll be fine,” Louis promises Harry. His face grows soft and his smile stretches, “Now, go make sure my girl gets down the aisle, yeah?”

                Eleanor, right. She’s probably freaking out right now.

                Harry leaves the backyard and finds Eleanor pacing on the porch at the front of the house, a worried look on her face.

                “They’re ready,” Harry tells her. Eleanor stops in her tracks and looks up at Harry.

                She’s a stunning bride, even without a speck of makeup on. She’s got on a long sleeved, short length skirt white dress with small lacy cut outs at the waist, around the elbows and over the caps of her shoulders. Harry helped her a half hour before by placing the ivy on her head as a crown, with all sorts of bight colored flowers adorning it. Her hair is long and flowing in curls, thanks in part to her sleeping with her hair in twisted braids the night before and leaving them in all day until now, until the sun is dipping into the horizon. That’s what Louis and Eleanor wanted, a sunset wedding with a vanilla cake and lots of music and dancing under the stars.

                Harry liked this idea very much.

                “Really?” Eleanor asks, voice slightly out of breath, “Even Niall?”

                Harry nods, “Yep, he’s just finished tuning his guitar.”

                “His guitar?!” Eleanor screeches, “God, it’s like Elvis officiating a wedding in Vegas.”

                “But worse,” Harry jokes, earning a smile from Eleanor.

                “How does he look?” Eleanor asks timidly, and Harry knows they’re not talking about Niall anymore.

                Harry grins, “Louis looks like he’s the happiest guy in the world.” And it’s true. Louis’ been smiling all day and Harry thinks he’ll never stop.

                “He’s too good,” Eleanor says quietly. She shakes her head, “I wish I was wearing a better dress. This was the nicest thing Jesy had-”

                “El it’s fine,” Harry assures her, “Louis would still marry you if you were wearing nothing but a smile.”

                Eleanor scoffs, “He would fucking love that.”

                “And you look lovely El,” Harry grins, “He’s gonna die when he sees ya. He loves you so much.”

                Eleanor’s lips wobble, “I love him too.”

                “Then lets get you down the aisle so you two can little happily ever after, ya?”

                Eleanor giggles as she nods, and sniffles her brief moment of emotion away.

                Harry finds the bouquet he helped Eleanor make on the seat next to the front door. Wild flowers in techno colors are bunched up and tied with string, it’s simply yet beautiful. Harry catches a whiff of the sweet flora scent as he hands it to Eleanor. She takes it, and adjusts her dress once more.

                Harry offers her his arm, “Ready?”

                Eleanor links elbows with him.

                “Ready.”

~*~

                It doesn’t go without a hitch.

                Nora dumps all the flowers three steps into the grassy aisle. She threw the bucket on the ground and ran to Louis, but Liam intercepted and picked up instead. Harry loves his niece dearly but she’s a terrible flower girl.

                And while Niall plays a rendition of _Heaven_ as Eleanor walks down the aisle, a bee flies around in his face. It causes Niall to stop playing and curse like a sailor as he swats the bug around before it flies away.

                But the way Louis looks at Eleanor as she walks towards him, like he’s seeing an angel floating around in their backyard, it’s suddenly the most perfect wedding this fucked up Earth has ever witnessed. Harry chokes up as he hands off Eleanor to Louis at the alter and stays emotional as he watches his two friends, _his family_ really, unite as one.

                “You’re my light, Els,” Louis tells her sincerely in his vows. Harry watches his shrug, a goofy grin spreads over his face, “That’s how I’ve been able to make in all this darkness—you make everything so much brighter. You’re like the Goddamn sun, Els.”

                Harry passes over a napkin to Eleanor once Louis’ through with his vows.

                “And when I met you,” Eleanor later says in her vows, her voice heavy with emotion, “For the first time in months Louis, I wasn’t afraid. And for whatever days I have left, with you by my side, I won’t be scared of anything, Lou.”

                Louis breaks protocol and promptly ends the ceremony there with a searing kiss to Eleanor’s lips. Eleanor gawks in surprise when Louis picks her up and twirls her around and dammit! It’s something straight out of a movie.

                Harry never thought he could be this happy again. 

                 When night casts down upon them, Niall plays a wide range of songs as everyone dances around the bonfire. Harry’s full of laughter and slightly burnt (but still incredibly delicious) vanilla cake made in that very fire. He’s high off of true love and fairytale endings and Liam’s scent and Liam’s kisses and Liam’s touches and Liam’s brown eyes looking fondly at him throughout the evening.

                He never wants any of this to end.

                But it does.

                Nora passes out from exhaustion with crumbs of cake on her lips and the flowers slipping out of her hair. Harry and Liam say good night to the other three, as Niall vows to play one more class love song for the newly wedded couple. Liam carries Nora upstairs, with Harry shining a light with a flashlight on the ground in front of them as the walk.

                Once in their room, Harry unwinds Nora’s hair from her braids and picks out the flowers. Liam helps undress her and they slip on a pair of pajamas as Nora remains sound asleep. Harry kisses her goodnight and he’s heart nearly bursts as Liam bends and does the same.

                Just as Harry’s taken his clothes off, and he’s left on a t-shirt and boxers, Liam slips up behind him. Harry stays still as Liam kisses the side of his neck and Liam’s arms slip around Harry’s waist. They find themselves swaying to the final chores and verse of _At Last_ from Niall outside. Once he’s done Harry turns and kisses Liam’s palm. They share an easy, yet serious stare that seems to reveal everything they wish to say to each other. And it’s more then enough for Harry.

                Liam’s out within a few minutes after his head hits the pillow. His looks so content and peaceful, sleeping next to him and Harry can’t help but smile as he thinks back on today. He recalls their conversation in the woods earlier that day.

                “I’d marry you too,” Harry whispers dreamily, his lips pressed to his pillow. He snuggles into Liam’s chest, finding the perfect spot under Liam’s chin. Shortly after, he drifts off to sleep with a smile on his face and Liam’s arms surrounding him.

                _There’s a still in the street outside your window._

_And you’re keeping secrets on your pillow._


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter is short but a lot happens! Enjoy :)

“H-Harry.”

                Harry wakes up a few days later at the sound of Liam’s voice. Something’s not right, Liam’s voice sounds off. It sounds pained and strained and desperate.

                Harry shifts around in bed and-

                And Liam’s trembling violently. The covers are up to his chin but it doesn’t seem to be warming him up at all. But Harry then notices, in the dull, low sunlight in the room, that Liam’s sweating profusely and he looks ghostly pale as well. His eyes are twisted shut and his quivering lips spurt out huffs of breath choked off breaths.

                “Liam?” Harry asks cautiously. He sits up slowly and reaches his hand up to Liam’s head.

                The man is burning up.

                “Fuck!” Harry jumps out of the bed and peaks his head out of the hallway, “Louis! Louis!”

                Harry turns back to Liam and God, his hair is soaked in sweat. He kneels down beside the bed and pushes back Liam’s drenched hair.

                “What is it, Li?” Harry asks his, voice panicked, “W-What’s making you so sick?”

                Liam shakes in response.

                “Louis!” Harry shouts again louder, this time waking up Nora on the other bed. But Harry’s focused on Liam. He pulls down the covers and looks at Liam’s bare chest. It too is covered in sweat, but there’s no sign of spots or any kind of infection.

                Just then Louis’ voice comes in from the hall, “The fuck is it, Harry? I’m technically still on my honeymoon-”

                Louis’ voice stops abruptly and Harry looks up. Louis’ eyes are wide on Liam, “What’s wrong with him?”

                “I-I dunno,” Harry rasps and goes back to inspecting Liam’s back. Liam dazedly is trying to reach for the covers and Harry insists, “No Liam.”

                Harry grabs the back of Liam’s left arm to stop.

                “OW!” Liam hisses loudly and he struggles to breathe.

                Harry freezes up, and his eyes well up with tears, “L-Li?”

                Carefully, Harry takes Liam’s heavy left arm by the hand and slowly brings it up over his head.

                From the door, Louis gasps, “Fuck.”

                And Harry feels sick.

                There’s an open cut, about two to three inches in length but its deep. The skin around it is risen and inflamed, and Harry’s never seen such an angry shade of red before.

                Harry’s eyes sting with tears, “L-Li?” He reaches up and cups Liam’s cheeks.

                “El?” Louis shouts, “Go get Niall quickly!”

                Liam shivers in the bed, but he turns his check into Harry’s palm.

                Louis’ suddenly standing over Harry, with Nora in his arms, “How’d this happen?” he asks, “How’d he get that cut?”

                Harry shakes his head, his mind scrambling for possibilities. Liam ever mentioned anything yesterday or the day before. But-

                “Oh my god,” Harry breathes out, eyes widened in realization. He looks up to Louis, “W-When we were in the woods picking flowers for your w-wedding, w-we, h-he,” Harry heaves for breath and looks at Liam desperately, “I-I asked you if your were okay! Why didn’t you say something?”

                Liam’s head lulls to the side, he mutters incoherently.

                “What?” Louis prompts.

                Harry shakes his head, “We need to heal that wound,” he mumbles as he stands up. He goes to his nightstand and finds his natural medical book Liam gave him. He’s gone over it countless times and knows were the answers he needs are in the book. He finds the page and looks up just as Eleanor and Niall come into the room.

                “Shit!” Niall breathes out, “What the Hell-”

                “He’s got an infection,” Harry tells him, “I-I need hot water, some soap and towels. Lots of gauze if we have it. A-And either aloe or honey or chamomile.”

                They all stand there, staring at Harry.

                “Please!” He begs, tears pouring down his face. And everyone leaves the room.

                Harry kneels down beside Liam and kisses his head. He grimaces as the salty sweat but he doesn’t care really.

                “It’s okay,” Harry tells him because despite Liam unable to speak due to pain, Harry knows that Liam must be scared. And he hates to think that he’s afraid, “I-I’ll you all better, I promise. It’s okay.”

                Harry sighs and rubs his nose against Liam’s forehead, “Everything will be o-okay.”

~*~

                Harry hasn’t slept a wink in nearly two days.

                And truth be told, neither has anyone else in the clan has except for Nora.

                Liam is all of their top concern.

                But Harry’s the one that routinely washes his cut, even though it pains Liam so much and he tries to squirm away, Harry holds back his tears and pins Liam’s arm back with all his might until the cut is cleaned. He does this, and has been doing this, for every two hours. After cleaning the cut, Harry applies a thick paste he made out of crushed up chamomile petals and honey on the cut, in hopes of healing the infection. He wraps up the cut with clean gauze and napkins and secures it with twine.

                The cut looks better; it’s not as swollen or inflamed.

                But Liam doesn’t look better.

                Harry thinks he’s worse off.

                Liam’s fevers have gotten so high that he’s thrown up on Harry a few times, not able to warn him before hand. One minute he’s shivering cold and the next minute Liam will groggily try to take the covers off of him because he’s too hot. He’s refuses water and only takes small bites of oatmeal. With each passing hour, Harry watches as the man he cherishes more then anything else in the world, grows more delirious and sicker.

                Harry knows if he’s fevers don’t break, it’ll only get worse. Liam’s body is fighting a battle it can’t seem to win.

                “The infection is still inside of him,” Harry tells the rest of the clan grimly. The sun is coming up outside and he’s exhausted, but he can’t stop. He’s run out of options, “We need antibiotics, strong antibiotics, and fast. You guys know where I could get some?”

                “Nick’s,” Louis says quickly, “He knows a few people in the medical field and before hospital closed down, a lot of doctors took drugs with them. Now they use them for trade.”

                Harry nods and feels briefly relieved.

                But Niall points out, “It’ll probably be so fucking expensive though.”

                “I’ve got money,” Eleanor says.

                Louis and Niall chime in, “Me too.”

                Harry does too, but he has a feeling it might not be enough.

                But then Harry remembers.

                His mother’s necklace.

                The others watch as Harry wordlessly goes to Liam’s room. It’s smaller then Harry and Nora’s room, and looks virtually unlived in because for weeks, Liam’s been sleeping in Harry’s room. Harry doesn’t know where to start looking so he tears draws apart and riffles through clothes. When that search comes up fruitless, Harry searches under the bed and he doesn’t find it. There’s a desk in the room and Harry looks under it and inside those drawers with no luck.

                Maybe it’s the lack of sleep or food. Or maybe it’s the fact that Harry’s slowly watching the man who has saved him countless die, and then only thing that’ll save Liam Harry can’t find.

                Either way, Harry becomes desperate.

                “Where is it?” Harry barges back into his room, his voice frantic and harsh.

                Liam looks eyes with him, and they already look so lifeless and dull; the shine and sparkle to them is nearly gone. Liam seems to what Harry’s asking of him. He huffs at Harry and shakes his head stubbornly.

                “Dammit Liam!” Harry cries out, frustrated tears brimming his eyes, “Let me save you! Tell me where it is and I’ll fix you!”

                Liam looks away.

                “So that’s it, uh?” Harry spits out, the tears freely falling now, “This is how this is all gonna end? And you’re not gonna let me try to save you?”

                Liam closes his eyes and his body trembles. Harry watches angrily his lips struggle, “H-Har-”

                “Fuck you!” Harry yells at him, “I’m not gonna watch another person I love die.”

                All the money Harry’s got left, around a thousand dollars, is in the bottom drawer of the nightstand. He takes it all, even in the small chance that it might be enough to buy some medicine, and puts it in his backpack. He hesitates when he finds his knife, but he swallows back the memories and the bit of bile that comes up and puts in his backpack as well. Harry ignores Liam completely

                “Niall?” Harry comes out into the hall to find the others. Nora’s curled up in Eleanor’s arms and sleeping still. Harry grins down at her and kisses her head.

                Niall nods stoically, “We’re going to the city?” Harry nods feebly, “Okay, gimme a minute.”

                “You think you’ll have enough money to get antibiotics?” Louis asks concerned.

                Harry looks at him, his eyes dead serious, “I’ll do whatever I have to.”

~~~

                Nick’s shop looks more like a junkyard.

                Unlike Alberto’s and Jesy’s stands, which are neat and somewhat orderly, Nick’s shop has no rhyme or reason to it. There are items everywhere, ranging from batteries to flashlights, matches to pillows. There’s dust on almost every surface, and the shop is poorly light by the aged candles with wax piled on the base.

                “Nick’s a bit of a bastard,” Niall tells him lowly, “He can be manipulative as fuck. But he does have the best connections and his shop has things other stand don’t have. If there are any antibiotics in the city, they’d be here.”

                Harry nods and looks up just as a man watch through a curtain in the back of the shop. It must be Nick, Harry reckons, because he has an easy grin on his face. He has a weasel like face and Harry feels a bit uneasy looking at him.

                “Ah Niall!” Nick greets him with fake enthusiasm, “So good to see you-it’s been way too long!”

                Niall responds flatly, “Hi Nick.”

                “Now what brings you in my lovely shop today?” Nick inquires as he gets behind his counter.

                Harry butts in, “We need antibiotics.”

                Nick turns to him, and a sick smile spreads across his lips, “I’m sorry, who are you?”

                “This is Harry,” Niall says, voice thick, “He’s part of my clan.”

                “Ohh,” Nick sighs pitifully, “Is someone in your clan ill?”

                Harry gulps, “L-Liam is.”

                “My, my,” Nick tuts, “What a shame.”

                Harry doesn’t buy his sympathy, “He got a cut and it’s infected. I treated the wound naturally, but the infection is still-” Harry stops himself and glares at Nick, “Look we need the strong antibiotic you have, and as much as you have too.”

                Harry pulls out his wad of cash from his backpack.

                Nick cackles at the sight of it.

                “Dear Harry, so young and naïve,” Nick leers sweetly. Harry hates that Nick talks and act like he knows him. Harry hates Nick, especially his sly grin, “This isn’t that kind of store! We trade here! Meaning you have to bring the best thing you can offer me and I make a deal with you.”

                Harry deflates a little. Back home, he knows Liam’s getting worse by the hour. He can’t got back home without medicine.

                But then-

                “Did anyone tell you that you have such lovely hair, Harry?”

                Harry picks his head up at Nick’s faux curious voice.

                “No,” Niall chimes in, his voice appalled, “Fuck, no. Harry don’t do it-”

                Nick speaks over Niall sweetly, “I have a loyal customer that’s quite well off. She’s older but quite nice and like I said, loaded is an understatement for her. Anyway she’s worn wigs for years, something about her hair being thin and balding. As you can imagine, when the world went crazy and all, people stopped donating their hair. Oh, yes that’s another thing-this woman wants real hair, none of their horse mane shit.”

                Harry watches Nick intently and waits patiently for him to finish talking and to just ask him what he knows is coming. He gulps thickly. He has a weird bond to his hair. As a teenager, Harry wanted to grow it out. Gemma was still pregnant with Nora when he started growing it out. His mom hated his longer hair, and so did his dad, but they let him do it for some reason. Harry’s never cut it, in all these years he hasn’t thought about cutting it.

                “There’s still a wig maker around,” Nick tells him and then he chuckles, “It’s crazy, right? Every other type of business left months ago, and yet we’re still blessed with a wig maker!” Nick smirks, “But he needs hair.”

                “Harry, don’t,” Niall says lowly, “Liam’s loves your hair.”

                Harry flinches at Liam’s name and ignores Niall.

                He looks to Nick and asks, “What’s this woman gonna give you for my hair?”

                “That’s none of your concern,” Nick tells him flatly. He then smiles, “But if you give me your hair, I’ll send you on your way with two vials of Clindamycin. Should fix your friend right up.”

                “No,” Niall insists, “Harry I won’t let you sell your hair! These may be shitty times but it’s not the medieval period!” He looks at Nick pointedly, “We’re leaving.” 

                Just as Niall turns them away, Nick counter offers.

                “I’ll give you my entire medical chest!” Nick taunts.

                Harry stops and turns around, “What?”

                Nick pulls off a heavy wooden grate from the wall behind him. He takes off the cover and proudly shows off his collection.

                “Everything you’ll ever need is in here!” Nick says happily, “Gauzes and Band-Aids of every size, hydrogen peroxide, heat compresses, Neosporin, aspirin, antibacterial wipes, ace bandages and, of course, all the vials of Clindamycin I’ve got, plus clean syringes.”

                It’s too good of a deal to pass up.

                Harry bites his lip and nods, “Okay,” Nick squeals in delight, “But as you cut my hair, Niall will hold on to the box.”

                “It stays on the counter until we’re through,” Nick says, “But sure, he can hold it. Whatever. Oh how exciting! Let me get my scissors from the back! Have a seat in my chair behind the counter!”

                When Nick disappears the weight of what Harry is doing settles in him. He gulps and takes heavy steps to the chair. He eyes the rusty metal before setting down in it, instantly feeling nauseous.

                “Harry,” Niall says softly, almost scolding.

                Harry looks up at him, eyes wide, “My hair can grow back, Ni,” he says, “But I-there’s not another Liam out there. I-I need him, Ni.”

                Niall feebly nods. Harry grateful he’s grown silent.

                When Nick has Harry’s long hair in a braid, Niall points his gun at Nick.

                “No funny business Nick,” he demands.

                Harry can practically hear his smirk in his voice, “Oh of course, Niall!”

                The sounds of scissors’ blades crossing makes Harry’s heart jump and he screws his eyes shut like a scared child.

~*~

                Jesy’s stand is just opening up by the time Niall and Harry get there.

                “Niall!” Leigh-Anne yells out excitedly! But then her face drops when she sees their serious faces, “Harry? What happened to your hair?”

                “Where’s Jade?” Niall asks.

                Leigh-Anne eyes them closely, her eyes darting down to the grate they’re both holding, before turning her head back a little, “Jade?”

                At that, the other girls come up as well. Jade looks timid and a bit unsure why she was requested.

                “What’s up?” she asks.

                Harry asks, no, demands rather, “We need you to come back to our clan.”

~~~

                Harry’s sitting in the hallway, right in front of the door to his bedroom. It’s closed, and behind that Jade’s been tending to Liam for several hours now and Harry’s losing his mind.

                When she discovered that Harry hadn’t slept or eaten in two days, Jade put her hand on his shoulder and told him she got this. Harry was somewhat relieved by this. Jade has actual medical experience, she knows how to use a needle and can figure out how much of dose Liam needs. Harry’s clueless about that stuff. And Jade took over Liam’s care, just like that. For hours, Jade’s barely left the room, except to get hot water, and even then she never said anything about Liam’s health. Harry doesn’t like no knowing what’s going on.

                He hates being left out of the loop, especially when it’s about Liam.

                Harry forced down some canned beans a few hours earlier and sipped on tea. The others tried to make him go to bed but Harry couldn’t. He can’t bring himself to leave this spot.

                It’s late at night, or maybe early in the morning. Hell, it could even be sunrise soon, Harry’s can’t tell. Louis stayed up with Harry for a while before he said goodnight and traded off with Eleanor. Now, Eleanor’s holding Harry’s hand, their knees touch as they sit on the ground.

                “You know, I like your hair short,” Eleanor says.

                Harry scoffs and he runs his hand through his hair. Nick didn’t do the best job cutting it, as the ends are uneven. It feels weird and impossibly short and Harry’s still getting used to it but it’s worth his discomfort. If it can save Liam’s life, short hair isn’t a big deal. But Harry’s still getting used to it.

                “I do!” Eleanor insists. She freely touches his scalp. Harry tilts his head into her hand.

                “What if he doesn’t get better?” Harry dares, his voice heavy and gaze aloof.

                Eleanor pets his hair, “Don’t think that,” she demands, but her voice is too soft.

                If Harry didn’t know Eleanor so well, he’d think she was afraid of that possibility too.

                Harry drops his head to Eleanor’s shoulder, “I love him, Els,” he says brokenly.

                “I know Harry,” she turns and kisses his forehead, “I know.”

                Harry keeps his eyes on the door and slowly eyes close.

~~~

                Harry’s startled awake by a hard soft shove.

                “Harry?” He blinks open his eyes and Jade’s kneeling in front of him, with Leigh-Anne standing behind her.

                And they both have smiles on their faces.

                “His fever broke,” Jade tells him, “About an hour or so ago. He’s cut looks good too, thanks to you and that concoction you made.”

                Harry blinks at her.

                Jade goes on, “He’s awake and somewhat alert now. I made him drink some tea and so far he’s kept it down. He’s not completely out of the woods yet, but he’s getting there.”

                Harry breathes in and out.

                Liam’s fever broke. The antibiotic is working. Liam’s okay for now.

                Leigh-Anne tells him, “He’s asking for you, Harry.”

                At that, Harry numbly stands up.

                And instead of going into his room, where Liam is waiting for him, Harry turns and walks down the hall. He hears Niall’s voice calling for him as he heads downstairs but he doesn’t stop or goes back.

~~~

                A day passes, and Liam is supposedly much better. He’s stronger, gaining more color in his skin, and has a good appetite coming back.

                Or at least that’s what Harry is told.

                He’s not seen Liam himself, despite how many times Louis tells him Liam wants to see him. Harry could go and see Liam, and part him wants to. But he doesn’t, he just can’t.

                “Hey.”

                Speak of the devil, or whether a Heaven sent angel, Harry stiffens up and looks over his shoulder.

                Liam’s standing there at the door. He looks sleepy, and his hair’s a mess. He’s thinner then Harry recalled but Liam gives him, soft and sweet, that makes Harry swoon a little.

                Harry looks away, his eyes catching the sunrise. He holds his breath as Liam sits down next to him. His stench is too strong; Harry figures its from days without washing up and sweating constantly. But Harry breathes in the familiar scent happily, almost hating how easily he can fall back into Liam’s hold.

                “You really did cut your hair.”

                Harry blinks at Liam’s statement. He sounds, almost upset to see the short strands.

                “Well yeah,” Harry bites back, keeping his eyes off Liam, “That asshole Nick let me trade my hair for all his medical supplies.”

                Liam waits before responding, “You’ve shouldn’t have done that.”

                At that, Harry huffs and tries to move off the porch. He can’t do this right now.

                But Liam stops, “Harry-”

                “What, Liam?” Harry turns around and glares at Liam, “You thought I wouldn’t do everything I possibly could to save you? Was I supposed to just sit there beside you and watch you die?” Harry chokes on the word, and looks away, shaking his head, “I couldn’t do that Liam! I just couldn’t! I would’ve sold one of my limbs if I had to.”

                There’s silence then, and Harry hates that there are more tears billowing inside him. He hates crying, always had, and feels like he’s cried too many times over these last few months. Liam’s seen him cry too many times, and he hates looking and feeling weak in front of him

                But Liam’s hands are suddenly there, cupping Harry’s face and pulling him in for a searing kiss. It’s been nearly a week since they’ve last kissed and Harry melts into his lips instantly, helplessly. His hands scramble to hold onto any part of Liam’s body he can. He accidently grazes Liam’s bandage.

                “Ah,” Liam hisses as he draws back.

                “I’m sorry,” Harry apologizes, giving Liam sweet kisses to his cheek, “You should be back in bed resting.”

                “I can’t stand that room,” Liam grumps, his arms tightening around Harry, “I needed to see you, to thank you.”

                “Thought you didn’t want me to sell my hair.”

                Liam sighs, “Harry’s not like I didn’t want to live, of course I did! But I just, I hated having to put you in that position. I hate…”

                Harry looks up at Liam, his chin resting on Liam’s chest, “What?”

                “I wish you didn’t have to do that for me,” Liam confesses quietly.

                Harry scoffs and state obviously, “I’d do anything for you, Liam.”

                “I know, but-”

                “If I were sick,” Harry says, “Would you sell anything you could to save me?”

                “Absolutely,” Liam assures what Harry already knew.

                Harry smirks, “So it’s decided then, we’re each other heroes.”

                Liam’s chuckles, and it’s a beautiful melody to Harry’s ears, “I guess so,” he leans down and kisses Harry’s nose, his gaze growing more serious, “Thank you, again.”

                Harry curls himself against Liam’s body. The sun’s coming up higher into the sky, and Harry squints his eyes at it and feels Liam pepper his scalp with kisses.

                “I’m sorry I haven’t seen you these past couple of days,” Harry mumbles, “I just, that was…a lot to handle. And I needed just a bit of a breather.”

                “I understand,” Liam says, “My mind was a bit fucked up, but I remembered you stayed by my side a lot, didn’t ya? I was told he barely ate or slept.”

                Harry hesitates before nodding into Liam’s chest.

                “And,” Liam hums with a playfulness in his voice. Harry holds back a sigh as Liam’s hands drags across Harry’s lower back, “I seemed to remember, you saying you loved me,” Harry’s heartbeat picked up, “Or rather, you yelling at me that you loved me.”

                Harry shoves his chest a little and meekly confesses, “I might have said that, yes.”

                “Good,” Liam says. He face grows softer, “Because I love you too.”

                Harry remembers, long ago, when he was a kid and his mother used to make the best homemade brownies ever. They were gooey and oozed with chocolate. Harry remembers when he would take a bite of the freshly made brownies, how his tummy would warm up and that sensation would spread tot eh rest of his body.

                Hearing Liam tell him that he loves him, it’s like that sensation is multiplied by a hundred.

                Harry buries himself into Liam’s chest and never wants to leave.

                “I’ve thought a lot about things the last day or so,” Liam says.

                Harry hums, “Yeah?” Liam nods against his head.

                “We need to rebuild.”

                Harry lifts his head, his face frowning, “What?”

                “Harry, I-we can’t keep going through the motions anymore,” Liam tries to explain, “We’ll all doing everything we can to make sure we survive and that’s worked for a while now but. Now’s the time to do more. We need to rebuild, because Nora deserves to grow up in a normal safe, environment. And Eleanor and Louis should have a real wedding and Niall should be able to back to his homeland one day. And you-”

                Liam stops and Harry gives him a curious smirk, “What about me?” Liam scoffs and rubs his nose against Harry’s.

                “You deserve everything-so much more then this world can give you,” Liam tells him earnestly.

                Every cell in Harry’s body squirms in delight.

                “I asked Jade and Leigh-Anne to talk to Perrie and Jesy,” Liam says. The picks up and Liam’s fingers brushes hair out of Harry’s eyes, “They’ve agreed to join our clan.”

                Harry perks up,” Really?”

                “While you’ve been being all isolated and brooding-” Liam playfully leers.

                Harry protests with a pinch to Liam’s side, “Heyy-”

                “-We’ve been making plans,” Liam says, “Jesy knows several kids in the city and she wants to teach them, so do their parents. She knows of an abandoned warehouse in town that needs to be cleaned up, but we’ll help her out with that.”

                Harry grins, “Nora will go to school?”

                Liam nods, “And Jade wants to open some sort of medical center, where she can treat patients,” the grin on Liam’s face deepens, “She wants you to help her with that.”

                “Me?!” Harry scoffs.

                “She says your smart thinking saved me,” Liam kisses Harry’s cheek, Harry blushes, “She thinks she can teach you the basics, if you want to.”

                Harry thinks about it for a few seconds, “Yeah, I do.”

                “We’ll also still run the clothes shop, and hunt and do everything else but-” Liam stops, and his smile is nearly painfully bright, “We’re taking back our lives, Harry.”

                There’s a chance. Albeit small and distant, but there’s a chance that things could go back to the life before the world went to shit. Before the disease, before all the violence, before the businesses and the government shut done-they could have a normal life again. A normal life that will be made with their own hands, built up from the ashes of the city. And though it’s not everything and it’s not guaranteed, it’s something.

                There’s actually a chance, hope.

                Harry’s lips wobble.

                “I love you,” Harry confesses.

                Liam beams down at him, “I love you,” he says easily, “And I don’t want to hold anything over you ever again.”

                Harry frowns as Liam digs in his back pocket. He sobs when he sees his mother’s emerald necklace. It’s been so long, and the morning light is reflecting off of it beautifully.

                “I shouldn’t have let you give this to me,” Liam says, guilt thick in his voice, “And I should’ve told you where it was before. Truth is, it’s yours and it always will be. You’re the one who should decide what you want to do with it. Use it for your future or keep it for Nora. It belongs to you.”

                Harry nods weakly, “O-Okay.”

                Liam smirks as he slips the jewelry over Harry’s head. His eyes flicker over Harry’s face as Harry feels the necklace graze his chest, “You’re so fucking beautiful Harry.”

                Harry chuckles, and the sniffs, “You’re the best thing that every happened to me,” Harry tells him. Liam smiles as his lips shake, “And you better not do that to me ever again.”

                “I won’t,” Liam says, “You’re a part oft his clan, we don’t run right without you. I won’t keep anything from you ever again,” he takes Harry’s hands and kisses his knuckles, “We’re in this together, ya?”

                Harry beams softly, his eyes bright and full of fond, “Always.”

                “Li Li!”

                The two men chuckle as Nora runs out onto the front porch on her bare feet. She goes for Liam first, who hoists her up in his arms. Nora’s giggles fill Harry’s soul and her smile is dazzling. Harry briefly looks down at his mother’s necklace. He now can picture it on Nora one day, and he’ll tell her all about what happened. Harry will tell her everything one day, years down the line, when reality is much better then it is now.

                For Nora, and everyone else, these stories will one day be a part of the past, long forgotten in time. And Harry eagerly looks forward to that day.

                Liam looks over to Harry, with Nora curled up in his arms, and smiles.

                The world that stopped turning and stood still for so long, is starting to move back up again.

                Harry can feel it.

                _And when the hardest part is over, we’ll be here._

_And our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears._

~*~ THE END ~*~

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah like I said LOTS of angst! I wasn't kidding! But thank you for reading CITC! I appreciate it and I hope you enjoyed it! :) 
> 
> *PLEASE!Leave me some kudos and nice comments! Thank you!* 
> 
> My blog on tumblr is teamtimetommo! I'm on there all the time so feel free to hit me up! 
> 
> I have a LOT of projects in the works, both for Lirry and Elounor fics so be on the lookout for that! 
> 
> Take care my loves! :)


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